Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages.
The issue of what students do after graduating school is being topic. Some
of
school leavers choose to explore and part of them Change preposition
apply
decided
to get a job Wrong verb form
decide
rathe
than Correct your spelling
rather
straight
continue to university. Correct word choice
apply
This
is have
Change the verb form
has
two-side
view based on advantages and Add an article
a two-side
the
disadvantages. I will focus on the good side first Correct article usage
apply
then
moving
to look at the opposite.
Wrong verb form
move
To begin
, late
adolescent who Add an article
a late
the late
have
Change the verb form
has
been
just finished Unnecessary verb
apply
their
school Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
travels
or Fix the agreement mistake
travel
works
because they want to have real-world experiences. Taking time off to work can gain valuable life experiences Fix the agreement mistake
work
such
as knowing the culture in office
and Add an article
the office
learn
from Wrong verb form
learning
senior
that Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
suitable
to Add a missing verb
are suitable
implemented
in daily life. Add a missing verb
be implemented
Furthermore
, explore world
Correct article usage
the world
also
beneficial for them to make good connections with others from different background
.
Developing independence is the Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
reasons
young Fix the agreement mistake
reason
adult
prefer to work and travel. People will develop Fix the agreement mistake
adults
skill
from Fix the agreement mistake
skills
this
decision because their life
become Fix the agreement mistake
lives
theirself
responsibility. Here learning personal management and Correct your spelling
their
can
not Verb problem
apply
dependen
Correct your spelling
depending
to
others. It helps Change preposition
on
individual
to face Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
real
world.
Add an article
the real
On the other hand
, young people is
not directly going to university have disadvantages. They Correct pronoun usage
who is
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
of
academic momentum and will impact Change preposition
apply
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
Correct pronoun usage
their chance
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
to be
accepted Change preposition
of being
in
college because it prioritized new students who direct to go Change preposition
into
university
.
Change preposition
to university
Moreover
, social disconnect for individuals who take break
may feel Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
out connect
Replace the word
disconnected
with
peers because Change preposition
from
the
differences of Correct article usage
apply
behavior
and age. Change preposition
in behavior
Also
, potential to be ignore
Wrong verb form
ignored
Correct word choice
and involve
involve
in Wrong verb form
involved
this
situation because of
peers feel you are not part of them. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, others not
ask you to do group work in some subjects.Change the verb form
do not
did not
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Begin with an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. In the body, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, each with a clear topic sentence. Conclude with a summarizing conclusion that reflects back on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs. Expressions such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'In contrast' help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. Make sure your examples are relevant and directly illustrate the advantages or disadvantages you are discussing.
Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Use the conclusion to clearly state your own viewpoint or a summary of the arguments presented, rather than introducing new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing. Enrich your vocabulary to avoid repetition of simple words, and proofread your essay to correct any grammatical errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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