Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

#school #leavers #travel #work #period #time #university

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The issue of what students do after graduating school is being topic. Some

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apply

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school leavers choose to explore and part of them

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

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to get a job

rathe

Correct your spelling

rather

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than

straight

Correct word choice

apply

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continue to university.

This

is have

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has

show examples

two-side

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a two-side

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view based on advantages and

the

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apply

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disadvantages. I will focus on the good side first

then

moving

Wrong verb form

move

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to look at the opposite.

To begin

late

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a late

the late

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adolescent who

have

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has

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been

Unnecessary verb

apply

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just finished

their

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apply

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school

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apply

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travels

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travel

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works

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work

show examples

because they want to have real-world experiences. Taking time off to work can gain valuable life experiences

such

as knowing the culture in

office

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the office

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and

learn

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learning

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from

senior

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seniors

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that

suitable

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are suitable

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implemented

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be implemented

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in daily life.

Furthermore

, explore

world

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the world

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also

beneficial for them to make good connections with others from different

background

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backgrounds

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. Developing independence is the

reasons

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reason

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young

adult

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adults

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prefer to work and travel. People will develop

skill

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skills

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from

this

decision because their

life

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lives

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become

theirself

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their

responsibility. Here learning personal management and

can

Verb problem

apply

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not

dependen

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depending

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show examples

others. It helps

individual

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individuals

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to face

real

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the real

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world.

On the other hand

, young people

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who is

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not directly going to university have disadvantages. They

lost

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lose

show examples

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apply

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academic momentum and will impact

decreasing

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decreased

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

their chance

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chance

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chances

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to be

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of being

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accepted

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into

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college because it prioritized new students who direct to go

university

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to university

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Moreover

, social disconnect for individuals who take

break

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breaks

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may feel

out connect

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disconnected

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with

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from

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peers because

the

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apply

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differences of

behavior

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in behavior

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and age.

Also

, potential to be

ignore

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ignored

show examples

Correct word choice

and involve

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involve

Wrong verb form

involved

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this

situation because

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apply

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peers feel you are not part of them.

For instance

, others

not

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do not

did not

show examples

ask you to do group work in some subjects.

Submitted by adhansdaily on Wed Jan 31 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Begin with an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. In the body, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, each with a clear topic sentence. Conclude with a summarizing conclusion that reflects back on the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs. Expressions such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'In contrast' help guide the reader through your argument.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support your main points. Make sure your examples are relevant and directly illustrate the advantages or disadvantages you are discussing.

Task Achievement

Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in a balanced way. Use the conclusion to clearly state your own viewpoint or a summary of the arguments presented, rather than introducing new information.

Coherence and Cohesion

Be careful with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction to enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing. Enrich your vocabulary to avoid repetition of simple words, and proofread your essay to correct any grammatical errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

school leavers
real-world experience
independence
structured environment
financial benefits
academic momentum
gap year
rigors
sidetracked
social disconnect

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Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

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User Write a passage about social interactions in our modern life

fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. some feel that this a positive trend, while others do not. what are your openion in this?