In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with academic subjects. What is your opinion? What are the effects on the children in their lives?
Substituting sports and exercise
classes
into academic Use synonyms
subjects
is being done in many nations. In my opinion, there should be extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
besides
studying as Linking Words
this
change will negatively influence the lives of Linking Words
children
by increasing mental diseases and lacking social Use synonyms
skills
among them.
Sports and exercise Use synonyms
classes
aid in improving the concentration of Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
This
is because Linking Words
while
playing or enjoying, Linking Words
children
get some relaxation from the burden of studying difficult Use synonyms
subjects
every day. Use synonyms
This
will allow them to bring a quick change in their lives and eliminate boredom. Linking Words
For example
, had the curricular Linking Words
activities
not been curtailed in some schools in North India, the enrolled students would have been able to score well in their finals Use synonyms
last
year. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
such
types of lectures are more significant Linking Words
along with
school Linking Words
subjects
.
Replacing sports and exercise Use synonyms
classes
has bad effects on Use synonyms
children
's lives. The first and foremost negative effect is mental illnesses. Since Use synonyms
children
are learning difficult Use synonyms
subjects
continuously, they are exhausted from Use synonyms
this
pressure which automatically leads to stress and depression because they are not getting enough leisure time to relax. Linking Words
Consequently
, it affects their productivity and memory power.
Linking Words
In addition
to Linking Words
this
, another impact is on their social Linking Words
skills
. If Use synonyms
children
participate in physical Use synonyms
activities
, they will learn essential Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
such
as decision-making, time management, problem-solving and sportsmanship. These Linking Words
skills
are important for their personal growth and development which is imperative to bringing good scores. Contrarily, when schools do not offer these special Use synonyms
classes
, these Use synonyms
skills
are not instilled in Use synonyms
children
.
In conclusion, the school curriculum should include extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
, which increase the focus of Use synonyms
children
; in the absence of these Use synonyms
classes
, Use synonyms
children
suffer from psychological problems Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
lack
of social Correct article usage
a lack
skills
.Use synonyms
Submitted by immysandhu94 on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion on the issue. However, you could enhance your examples to make them more specific and relevant. For instance, providing detailed data or real-life incidents could make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical structure. Each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions between paragraphs are smooth. To improve further, you might consider varying your sentence structures to add more sophistication to your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear starting and ending point for your discussion.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with valid reasons, contributing to a strong argument throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example