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Writing Samples
Band 5

Technology has detrimental effect on man social life. Agree or disagree?

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In the present epoch, experts, throughout both developed and developing countries, have
depated
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debated
departed
 whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology has whether the opposite has become the case. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view because of its deleterious impact. All these points will be demonstrated later in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, there is ample, powerful and almost daily evidence that cutting-edge technology has a detrimental effect on
the
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future generations because they are more easily attached to its addictive nature.
In other words
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, the
through
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use of
the
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attractive and appealing websites results in more individuals who feel isolated from
the
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society. A prime example of
this
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 is the high percentage of teenagers who suffer from depression and loneliness despite being among their community members.
Hence
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, what can be said is that utilizing
the
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online platforms should be supervised strictly.
Furthermore
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, the dependence on
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widely spreading social applications plays a negative role
to
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in
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 the mental and physical well-being of
society
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society's
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 citizens.
This
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 means that the
continous
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continuous
 usage of these apps deprives humans
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of
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from
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of
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 doing some outdoor activities.
Consequently
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,
this
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 leads to not only a significant regression in their muscle power
,
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apply
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 but
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also Impairs
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alsoairs
 their cognitive functions and creativity.
For Instance
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, based on a survey that was published by the World Health Organization, it has been obvious that most
of
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the
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adults prefer spending their time chatting on Facebook to doing sports.
Thus
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, authorities bear the responsibility of guiding their population towards Lessening
reliability
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the reliability
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on
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of
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 virtual blogs. In conclusion,
after
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this
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 essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that these technological advances have dramatically reduced
the
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crucial face-to-face interactions. I am convinced that with the spread of globalization, people feel connected, but lack
the
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real communication skills.
Moreover
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, nations should encourage the society's real bonds again.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one clear main idea, which is elaborated in detail throughout the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by using a range of cohesive devices properly and avoiding repetition.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main argument effectively. The thesis statement could be made clearer, and the conclusion should restate the arguments more precisely.
task achievement
Thoroughly address the task by expanding on your arguments and providing clear, detailed responses to the prompt. Include more specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas with comprehensive explanations and ensure they directly relate to the prompt.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples that convincingly support your main points, and reference reliable sources to enhance credibility.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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