Some parents think giving expensive gifts to children create a bad habits. Do you agree or disagree

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A lot of parents believe spoiling pupils with luxury things is the same as supporting bad
behaviour
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to grow. I believe
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

true because it can promote
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun behaviour in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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insensitive
behaviour
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss why I agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide

It seems that the verb provides does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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examples to
stronger
Replace the word
strengthen

The word stronger doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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my arguments. A recent study shows that children who
surrounded
Add a missing verb
are surrounded

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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by expensive goods will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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see it as something usual in the future. When they get older, they might think that those are just regular things that people have, which are not everyone as lucky as them.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

mindset causes insensitive
behaviour
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to grow.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they don't think it is necessary to donate their unused -but still in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
good condition- clothes because they
sure
Add a missing verb
are sure

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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all people already have
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. Insensitive
behaviour
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can lead to a low social-awareness level of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun pupils in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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pupils. As they expect everyone
are
Wrong verb form
to be on

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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the same level
with
Change preposition
as

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them, they might not realize that some people can't even eat three times a day. Not recognizing the need
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
help around us,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is one of the
form
Change to a plural noun
forms

The singular countable noun form follows the quantifier one of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of having low
social-awareness
Correct your spelling
social awareness

The word social-awareness doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation
is bring
Change the verb form
is brought
is bringing

It appears that the form of the verb bring does not work with is in this sentence.

show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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impact not only
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the children
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
society. In conclusion, I strongly agree that we should stop normalizing giving expensive gifts to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun pupils in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
pupils. It is proven that it can promote insensitive
behaviour
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that
lead
Change the verb form
leads

The plural verb lead does not appear to agree with the singular subject insensitive behaviour. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to
decreasing
Correct article usage
a decreasing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
rate of social awareness.
Submitted by farrandyerza on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea which is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more cohesive structure by using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by providing more specific and detailed examples that directly support your main points.
task achievement
To improve task response, try to fully address all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion where appropriate and ensuring that your opinion is clear throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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