Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

#children #attention #studies #school

Kids are nation builders, and how we are developing them is going to decide the future of the country .

However

, it is found that

offsprings

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offspring

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are being distracted and losing control over

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

Although

this

could be a result of electronic gadgets and social pressure, implementing mindfulness and

cocentration

Correct your spelling

concentration

in school

curriculam

Correct your spelling

curriculums

makes things better.

To begin

with,

youngones

Correct your spelling

youngsters

are being introduced to digital devices

such

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apply

show examples

smartphones, tablets, and gaming consoles, at

early

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an early

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age.

Consequently

, these things are becoming an

interegal

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integral

part of their life, which provide them instant

entertainmment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

and gratification. Spending plenty of time on electronic devices results in

Add a missing verb

being more

show examples

distracted and less focused.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social pressure is the second

biggeset

Correct your spelling

biggest

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

Change preposition

for

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under performance of students as getting good grades has become

social

Correct article usage

a social

show examples

status nowadays. The

offsprings

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offspring

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are being pressured to cram the

sllyabus

Correct your spelling

syllabus

instead

understand

Wrong verb form

understanding

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it practically,

Correct word choice

and

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as a

consequece

Correct your spelling

consequence

of which, children find

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

less interesting.

Therefore

, paying less attention to studies is becoming common among

youngones

Correct your spelling

youngsters

. To improve

this

condition, there should

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be an

show examples

implemention

Correct your spelling

implementation

of mindfulness and concentration lessons in

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

curriculam

Correct your spelling

curriculum

curricula

, where students must

taught

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teach

show examples

how to improve focus and what to do when

feel

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feeling

show examples

distracted

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show examples

For instance

according to

the report of Ontario Private School Limited, kids show more interest in learning after attending mindfulness classes as compared

children

Change preposition

to children

show examples

, who did not go to classes.

Therefore

youngones

Correct your spelling

young ones

should be motivated to attend mental health periods for more

concenteration

Correct your spelling

concentration

To conclude

, there is

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

to make

chnages

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changes

in both

study

Correct article usage

the study

show examples

sllyabus

Correct your spelling

syllabus

and

daily

Correct article usage

the daily

show examples

routine of the

youngones

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young ones

Although

teachnology

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technology

is becoming more essential these days,

it's

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its

show examples

impact on children's mental health can not be tolerated.

Submitted by yudhveer4890 on Wed Jan 31 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Consider revising the essay to have a clearer introductory paragraph that presents your main ideas more concisely and a stronger conclusion that summarized the key points made throughout the essay.

logical structure

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by using clear paragraphing and consistent topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph.

supported main points

Work on elaborating and supporting your main points more thoroughly. Use examples, explanations, and evidence to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

complete response

To improve task achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Provide a more detailed analysis of the reasons behind the lack of concentration and offer a broader range of solutions.

clear comprehensive ideas

Increase clarity and depth in your ideas by refining them and making sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea that is comprehensively discussed.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate specific examples to support your claims. Include real-life instances, studies, or statistics to provide evidence for your arguments, making them more convincing.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Concentration
Engagement
Curriculum
Attention span
Learning disorders
Interactive learning
Personalized learning
Supportive learning environment
Mental health
Organizational skills
Educational policy
Mindfulness
Screen time

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Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

In the future people may not long be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not to be happy to give up using cash?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with a declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?