IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is believed by some that it is better to accept unwelcoming
situations
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 which might be caused by lack of money or
issues
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 related
with
Change preposition
to
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 work.
While
Linking Words
 others believe the opposite, they agree it is better to overcome these
issues
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 and try to improve
such
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situations
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. In the following
essay
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essay,
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 I will be discussing both these views. Some
people
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 are calm, which
in other words
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 they are not extremely affected by
issues
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 that are caused, and they tend to accept whatever happens without taking action. These decisions are made when
people
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 believe there isn’t a way to overcome an issue and some might think they deserve to be
in particular
Linking Words
situations
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. As an example, if an employee is dissatisfied with their job
instead
Linking Words
 of finding new job opportunities or asking a manager for help they will simply continue their work no matter the misery.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
people
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 who react in
an
Correct article usage
the
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 opposite way and they get triggered by these unwelcoming
situations
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. Some will try their best to change the
situations
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 they are facing so it fits their preferences. It is not easy for
people
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 who value comfort or peace to be calm about these problems.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 changing jobs if it is disturbing or even
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 harder for a better income. Personally, I think both sides have clear reasons and no one should be judged by what they prefer, but I think everyone should make sure that they are at peace by avoiding or trying to get out of problematic
situations
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 if there is even a slight chance because if ignored these
situations
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 may lead to bigger
issues
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.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, make sure to use a variety of transitional phrases and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help to better guide the reader through your argument and understand the connections between your points.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, you can improve them by stating your thesis more clearly in the introduction and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
To provide more support for your main points, include specific examples and evidence. This helps to illustrate your points and makes your argument more convincing.
task achievement
You should aim to fully address the task by expanding on your ideas with more depth and development. This can be achieved by giving more detailed explanations and illustrations of each view, as well as expanding on your own opinion with stronger justifications.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas. This will demonstrate a fuller understanding of the topic and make your essay more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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