In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The one of way from many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
to
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
the criminal abolish the cause of
crime
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
increasing the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life satisfaction and giving a chance to
people
to get
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
level. I
agerre
Correct your spelling
agree
with
this
statement that It just not about
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
the police on every road and
catch
Wrong verb form
catching
show examples
the
people
and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
them
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail. I start
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
the life
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
. Every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
an opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
an opportunity
opportunities
show examples
to
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
life and
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
safe with their
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
. Having an
occupational
Replace the word
occupation
show examples
with the income in highest level is
comprehensive
Add an article
the comprehensive
a comprehensive
show examples
manner to
attact
Correct your spelling
attract
attack
the cause of
crime
.
Hard
Add an article
The hard
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
will push them to act but the ability to hold
them selfe
Correct your spelling
themselves
and go on from hard
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
is
Correct article usage
a commprehensive
show examples
commprehensive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
manner to do not the
crime
.
For example
. A father will make everything when his child
fell
Verb problem
feels
show examples
hungry and
they do
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
not have anything food. The father will
close
Add a missing verb
be close
show examples
to
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
the
crime
in
this
condition but if the father can use the social relationship to help them, the
crime
will not happen. The second thing that
important
Add a missing verb
is important
show examples
is an opportunity to get valid information and
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about the
crime
. The government have a responsibility to share all information about the
crime's
Change noun form
crime
show examples
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
show examples
and they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
active
to educate
Change preposition
in educating
show examples
the
people
to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals.
For instance
, the police give a seminar about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminalization as
effort
Add an article
an effort
show examples
to prevent and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase in security
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
fasicilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
. In conclusion, the improvement in
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
of income generating and accessing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational facilities are the best
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
incline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
.
Submitted by endangsepdanius on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you address the prompt directly by stating whether you agree or disagree clearly. Expand on your ideas with well-developed arguments and provide clear examples to support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear introduction that presents the topic and your opinion effectively. A concluding paragraph that summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance is also important.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by planning your essay with clear paragraphs, each focussing on a single main idea. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, and make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Remember to support main points with specific, relevant examples. These can be real-life examples, hypothetical situations, or referencing studies, to provide evidence for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: