IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choices of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we can learn about someone's characteristics and
culture
Use synonyms
 through their choices of clothing. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, because someone's clothing might be a reflection of his
culture
Use synonyms
, customs
as well as
Linking Words
character
Add an article
a character
show examples
 but
this
Linking Words
 point is not appropriate always. Rather their behaviours and
way
Use synonyms
 of life
also
Linking Words
 indicate their
culture
Use synonyms
. People generally dress themselves
according to
Linking Words
 their cultural norms and ideologies. More specifically, a person's dressing sense is a reflection of his own identity. Their clothes may reveal where they belong or how they would act.
For example
Linking Words
, South Asian women usually wear shari which is the predictor of their own
culture
Use synonyms
 and characteristics. In their
culture
Use synonyms
 women are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
goddesses and they are treated with respect. Wearing shari establishes them as an epitome of worshipness and beauty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, through their choice of clothing, numerous cultural norms and characters of them can be identified.
However
Linking Words
, it is unacceptable to establish a proper understanding of someone's
culture
Use synonyms
 only through their clothing choice. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 not everyone is following their traditional ways of clothing nowadays.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is imperative that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 and customs not only reflect through clothes but
also
Linking Words
 through their
way
Use synonyms
 of life and behaviour.
Hence
Linking Words
, if we want to learn about one's
culture
Use synonyms
, it is wise to follow how he acts or what his
way
Use synonyms
 of life is and
that is
Linking Words
 the most effective and amazing
way
Use synonyms
 of learning about one's
culture
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in multicultural Australia, understanding people's lifestyles and behaviour helps us to know about several cultures and characters.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
culture
Use synonyms
 and character can be identified through clothing
as well as
Linking Words
 people's
way
Use synonyms
 of living. Both are equally considerable and none of them should be underestimated.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, aim to enhance the logical flow by better connecting paragraphs with cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
Enhance the introduction and conclusion to ensure they are fully responsive to the prompt's task.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to effectively illustrate your points and provide substantial evidence for your claims.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on the prompt and consistently address the statement throughout your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review your essay for any potential grammatical errors or unclear expressions to increase clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal identity
  • Cultural background
  • Fashion trends
  • Societal norms
  • Non-verbal communication
  • Globalization
  • Social status
  • Conformity
  • Adaptability
  • Non-conformist
What to do next:
Look at other essays: