In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of cities
worlwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
levels
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
on the rise in recent years.
This
is mainly caused by the development of industrial sectors and the rising
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of vehicles.
This
phenomenon leads to negative environmental effects and various
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
threatening living beings. The advancement of technology, especially
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
transportation and factories,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
accountable for causing
pollution
. In fact, many firms produce most of
Add an article
the pollutant
show examples
pollutant
Fix the agreement mistake
pollutants
show examples
in the city.
For example
,
charcoal
Correct article usage
a charcoal
show examples
factory in Serang is believed to be the greatest source of the famous grey smoke in Jakarta's sky.
This
smoke is blown by the wind and travels to Jakarta, causing dark fog, which is deteriorated by the presence of numerous vehicles in the city. Other than causing air
pollution
, many factories
also
throw the used liquid
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
water
drainages and even rivers like what we have seen in the rivers in Jakarta. As everything has a price,
pollution
is evident to cause illness for humans, animals, and
plants
.
First,
air
pollution
is a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
breathing problems
such
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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cough,
athma
Correct your spelling
asthma
, and lung cancer. It can be seen how China requires its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
to wear
mask
Fix the agreement mistake
masks
show examples
outside to prevent them from inhaling harmful air.
Second,
water
pollution
can possibly harm
water
creatures and
plants
. The polluted
water
in the city rivers most likely contains chemical stuff, and if it is absorbed by the soil, on which the
plants
grow, gives a greater likelihood for the
plants
to dry out.
To sum up
,
pollution
has been a long discourse
that is
longing to be resolved. I opine that the government should set some rules to combat
this
problem. Some of
which
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
are to limit the use
transportation
Change preposition
of transportation
show examples
and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
policies that manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
disposal.
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. It is essential that you expand upon each idea, providing further analysis and a greater number of examples to support your argument. Your response should also demonstrate a more careful consideration of the question prompt, ensuring a comprehensive discussion of the reasons behind the increase in pollution and its specific effects in the cities.
Coherence&Cohesion
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • contaminants
  • respiratory illnesses
  • smog
  • carcinogens
  • sustainability
  • aerosols
  • ecosystem degradation
  • wastewater treatment
  • green initiatives
  • carbon footprint
  • urban sprawl
  • renewable energy
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