IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the price of three metals during 2014

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the price of three metals during 2014
#change #price #three #metals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line chart compares the fluctuation in the cost of copper, nickel and zinc every month over a certain year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen from the chart that the changes in the price experienced a period of erratic behaviours for all factors during 2014.
In addition
Linking Words
, all the
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 faced a downward trend from
January
Use synonyms
 to June
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by a statistical pattern;
moreover
Linking Words
, recovered it's upwards. Looking at the details, Nickel's cost hit the highest point in
January
Use synonyms
 at 6 which was a large amount, during the whole term. It was followed by a significant fall till June in the bottom out at
mines
Replace the word
mine
show examples
 three and
also
Linking Words
 after a constant course, level out at one to the end. In the same term, in
January
Use synonyms
 the amount of Zinc fluctuations rose sharply;
this
Linking Words
 was followed by a dramatic decline in
January
Use synonyms
 at mines one and regained its upward trend to the end of the course at two.
Finally
Linking Words
, unlike others Copper saw a remarkable increase at the start,
although
Linking Words
 the same as Nickel and Zinc decreased to June well under zero; It stayed unchanged from July to September at one, and
also
Linking Words
 moved down and up to the end of term at just under two.
Submitted by niloofar_sk33 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words january with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: