IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantage

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It is true that with the development of technology, many daily activities can be done online
such
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 as online shopping is a common activity for everyone. Personally, I believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of
this
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 trend outweigh its
disadvantages
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. On the positive side, technology and the internet make our lives easier. Activities that previously took much
time
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 can be done in less
time
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 nowadays. Online shopping,
for instance
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, can save much
time
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 because we can compare the price of a product right away and it can be delivered to our house
for instance
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.
In addition
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, online groceries have become popular in recent times. For people who are busy,
this
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 service can be really beneficial since it can save
time
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.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend offered efficiency and
conveniences
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convenience
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 for the user. On the negative side, buying
things
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 on the internet can have several
disadvantages
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. Compared to buying
things
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 directly at the market, when
shoppings
Correct your spelling
shopping
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 online customers cannot physically inspect or try products before making a purchase.
This
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 can result in dissatisfaction of the customer because of damaged
product
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products
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, bad quality, and not functioning.
In addition
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, shipping delays are a major drawback of buying
things
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 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
This
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 can be caused by several factors
such
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 as bad weather, shipping error, or high demand during peak seasons. \ In conclusion,
while
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 purchasing
things
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 online has its
disadvantages
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 from
product
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products
show examples
did
Verb problem
apply
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not
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
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 expectations and shipping
delay
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delays
show examples
, the efficiency and ease of buying online that can save
time
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 outweigh the
disadvantages
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. I believe in the future, buying
things
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 online for everyday needs is becoming more prevalent.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to fully develop your main ideas with specific examples. While you mention various advantages and disadvantages, providing concrete examples to support your claims would make your essay more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your logical structure. Consider realigning your arguments to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. This will enhance the overall clarity and flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a strong introduction and conclusion. Your introduction sets the context well, but make sure to include a thesis statement that clearly states whether or not you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Similarly, your conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your opinion with conviction.
Coherence & Cohesion
To achieve greater cohesion, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing, ensuring each paragraph has a central theme and is neatly separated for better clarity.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
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