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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the information about international conferences in 3 capital cities in 1980-2010. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the information about international conferences in 3 capital cities in 1980-2010. Summarize the information and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart demonstrates the number of universal seminars in three capital cities over a thirty-year period between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
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, what stands out from the graph is the numbers with regards to
city
Use synonyms
C
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 witnessed a sharp climb,
while
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, the figures for the two other cities went down gradually. As can be seen, in 1980
city
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C
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 had no seminars,
while
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 both
city
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 A and
city
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B
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 were at their highest level 30 and 35 respectively.
Additionally
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, in 1985
city
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B
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 plummeted to an all-time low of about 20.
Also
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 evident is, by 2000
city
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C
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 soared to 35 conferences,
then
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 it started to experience a margin slip. Another important fact is
although
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 the number of
City
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 A and
City
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B
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 reached around 27, the former overtook the latter. in 2010
city
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C
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 was responsible for almost 30 meetings,
while
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,
city
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B
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 formed a moderate portion of them and
City
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 A accounted for about 24.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city, c, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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