Some people tend to take temporary jobs(they only work for few month of year),for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, there are many
argument
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arguments
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relate
Wrong verb form
related
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to the individuals who
work
for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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moment
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moments
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of
year
Add an article
the year
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and provide their spare
time
for
other thing
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another thing
other things
show examples
.
This
essay will explore
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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and drawbacks of the statement. There are two main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
of people who
work
as a freelancer. One of them is that they will gain
a
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apply
show examples
good mental health.
This
is
due to
the fact that
workers
who
work
under routine will have a strict life and be under more pressure from their supervisors than those who can choose the
time
to
work
or take some rest by themselves and be independent from upper position officers. To illustrate, some office managers will have a schedule to
work
for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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8 hours a day and rest just a few
minute
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minutes
show examples
,
moreover
, when post working
time
they must be
tolerance
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tolerant
show examples
with a traffic congested before arrive at their home.
However
, people who have
an
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a
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non routine
Add a hyphen
non-routine
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job
can manage their
time
which
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
in more productivity and better mental status. Another benefit of short-term
workers
is they will have more opportunity to make the best contribution because freelance
workers
can estimate the
job
which is appropriate to their capability and especially proficiency, whilst, the routine worker cannot.
This
situation will provide freelancers a chance to make better effective products, goods or
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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services.
For example
, photographers who are good at taking
a
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apply
show examples
picture
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pictures
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of landscape geography can select the
job
offer that matches
with
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apply
show examples
their skills and focus on only their final product if they commit to a temporary
job
,
however
, the photo officers might have a variety of
works
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work
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that they should be concerned about.
Conversely
, even
being
Correct word choice
though being
show examples
freelancers have a lot of good
reward
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rewards
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, it still has a disadvantage which is destabilization in
career
Correct article usage
the career
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path.
For instance
, people who have been working for a long
time
in the office may increase the opportunity to have a promotion
for
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to
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upper rank and
also
gain other welfare
such
as providence fund rights,
while
independent
workers
do not have even if they
also
work
for a
while
compared to the opposite.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, working a temporary
job
still has more beneficial returns
especially
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, especially
show examples
in mental and productivity.
However
, freelancers still need to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
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about
stable
Replace the word
stability
show examples
in life for the future.
Submitted by krist_ar03 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Providing a more balanced consideration of the advantages and disadvantages and offering a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will lead to a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more effectively. Use clear paragraphing and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use cohesive devices accurately and appropriately to help the reader follow your argument.
Task Achievement
To fulfill the requirements of the task, it's important that you develop your main points more fully. Support your ideas with specific examples and explanations. Make sure that you are developing each main point with sufficient detail to make your argument convincing.
Language Accuracy
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors as they can impact the clarity of your message. Proofreading your work before submitting it can help to eliminate these errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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