IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people tend to take temporary jobs(they only work for few month of year),for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, there are many
argument
Change to a plural noun
arguments
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relate
Wrong verb form
related
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 to the individuals who
work
Use synonyms
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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moment
Change to a plural noun
moments
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 of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 and provide their spare
time
Use synonyms
 for
other thing
Change the wording
another thing
other things
show examples
.
This
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 essay will explore
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and drawbacks of the statement. There are two main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of people who
work
Use synonyms
 as a freelancer. One of them is that they will gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good mental health.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that
workers
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 under routine will have a strict life and be under more pressure from their supervisors than those who can choose the
time
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 or take some rest by themselves and be independent from upper position officers. To illustrate, some office managers will have a schedule to
work
Use synonyms
 for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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8 hours a day and rest just a few
minute
Change to a plural noun
minutes
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,
moreover
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, when post working
time
Use synonyms
 they must be
tolerance
Replace the word
tolerant
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 with a traffic congested before arrive at their home.
However
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, people who have
an
Change the article
a
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non routine
Add a hyphen
non-routine
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job
Use synonyms
 can manage their
time
Use synonyms
 which
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in more productivity and better mental status. Another benefit of short-term
workers
Use synonyms
 is they will have more opportunity to make the best contribution because freelance
workers
Use synonyms
 can estimate the
job
Use synonyms
 which is appropriate to their capability and especially proficiency, whilst, the routine worker cannot.
This
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 situation will provide freelancers a chance to make better effective products, goods or
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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services.
For example
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, photographers who are good at taking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
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 of landscape geography can select the
job
Use synonyms
 offer that matches
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their skills and focus on only their final product if they commit to a temporary
job
Use synonyms
,
however
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, the photo officers might have a variety of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 that they should be concerned about.
Conversely
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, even
being
Correct word choice
though being
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 freelancers have a lot of good
reward
Change to a plural noun
rewards
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, it still has a disadvantage which is destabilization in
career
Correct article usage
the career
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 path.
For instance
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, people who have been working for a long
time
Use synonyms
 in the office may increase the opportunity to have a promotion
for
Change preposition
to
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 upper rank and
also
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 gain other welfare
such
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 as providence fund rights,
while
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 independent
workers
Use synonyms
 do not have even if they
also
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 for a
while
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 compared to the opposite.
To
Change preposition
In
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 conclusion, working a temporary
job
Use synonyms
 still has more beneficial returns
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in mental and productivity.
However
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, freelancers still need to
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
 about
stable
Replace the word
stability
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 in life for the future.

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task prompt. Providing a more balanced consideration of the advantages and disadvantages and offering a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will lead to a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more effectively. Use clear paragraphing and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use cohesive devices accurately and appropriately to help the reader follow your argument.
Task Achievement
To fulfill the requirements of the task, it's important that you develop your main points more fully. Support your ideas with specific examples and explanations. Make sure that you are developing each main point with sufficient detail to make your argument convincing.
Language Accuracy
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors as they can impact the clarity of your message. Proofreading your work before submitting it can help to eliminate these errors.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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