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Band 5

some people think car-free day is an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are more effective way of doing. Discuss both views and your personal point of view.

#people #car-free #air #pollution #point
Every nation is still looking for the right solution to increasing their
air
quality
. One of the believed ways to lower the use of
vehicles
 on some special days
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 it
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the emitted emission that contaminates the
air
.
However
,
air
 contamination does not only come from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation.
Therefore
, some groups of people agree that
this
 is not an efficient approach to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 the
air
quality
.
This
 essay will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
further
 analyze both views before reaching a conclusion.
On
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the first point of view, limiting the use of
vehicles
 aims to cut the residue. It might not
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 effect on
overall
 country
air
quality
.
Nevertheless
, recent research
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 found that it can help the local atmosphere condition. On top of that, the output from
this
 action can be expanded by increasing the number of
vehicles
 that don'
t
 operate.
For example
, if 100 cars don'
t
 operate today, the effect may be felt in the local area. If 10000 cars don'
t
 operate today, it can affect wider than a local area.
On the other hand
, some groups of people had insisted that stopping
vehicles
 to operate is just a waste of time.
Instead
, it is decreasing the rate of productivity.
For instance
, some company couldn'
t
 run their work well because of a lack of transportation. They suggested the experts to
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
another methods
Replace the adjective
another method
other methods
show examples
 which are more efficient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reducing
air
 contamination without causing any troubles to
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
. These reasons explain why people disagree about limiting the use of
vehicles
. To summarize, maintaining
air
quality
 can'
t
 be reached
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 only giving a vehicle a day off. It requires more effort to achieve desirable
air
quality
. Collaboration from environmental experts, scientists, and engineers is needed to solve
this
 issue.
Submitted by farrandyerza on

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Coherence & Cohesion
In regards to logical structure, enhance the clarity of your paragraphs by using more explicit linking words and well-defined topic sentences that guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, make sure they clearly state the essay's purpose and summarize the main points respectively, to strengthen these sections.
Coherence & Cohesion
Back your main points with more detailed examples and relevant evidence to solidify your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, expand on your ideas and provide a more balanced discussion between the two views. Your personal point of view should be distinct and well-supported by arguments.
Task Achievement
Ensure your ideas are thoroughly developed and covered comprehensively, leaving no aspect of the task unaddressed.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your views. This provides evidence and demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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