It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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It is crucial to take

risks

Use synonyms

both in the carrier and the private life.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may open the doors for new opportunities, risky moves can cause huge monetary losses and I believe

this

Linking Words

disadvantage far outweighs any potential advantages It has become apparent that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

both career and personal lives are associated with new challenges every day. We have to take the

risks

Use synonyms

in order to move forward.

However

Linking Words

, it is not wise to shift to a new step by spending a huge amount of money. Because, if you fail, all you have spent becomes worthless.

Therefore

Linking Words

, to minimize the losses, it is worthwhile to do a risk assessment prior to planning anything new. After that, you will realize whether it is required to proceed or not.

For example

Linking Words

, one of the famous businessmen whose field is agriculture, decided to shift to textile which is totally new to him because of the huge demand in that particular field.

Moreover

Linking Words

, he sold all his cultivated lands and invested money in purchasing a garment.

However

Linking Words

, he was unable to become successful in that field and

consequently

Linking Words

, he had to resell the garment and leave the country

finally

Linking Words

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is obvious that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

taking a risk by sacrificing all the assets will be no point if you did not plan it properly.

In contrast

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, there are certain advantages

also

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behind taking

risks

Use synonyms

. Facing new challenges is instilled in youngster’s blood. They learn a lot of things by taking

risks

Use synonyms

since their childhood.

This

Linking Words

is very important for the cognitive development of the children.

For example

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, it has been scientifically proven that

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apply

show examples

children who have engaged in much more adventure activities show great potential for problem-solving in school. Parents should

also

Linking Words

need to allow the kids to find new pathways facing challenges. Thereby, children ultimately learn how to withstand the

risks

Use synonyms

and how to turn risk into a value-added opportunity. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

taking

risks

Use synonyms

guide

Correct subject-verb agreement

guides

show examples

people

for

Change preposition

show examples

novel opportunities, I believe

this

Linking Words

upside is greatly outweighed by the downside that taking

risks

Use synonyms

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

huge

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

to people

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

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in terms of

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

Submitted by nipunianudhika1111 on Thu Feb 01 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide a more balanced view on the topic. The essay currently leans heavily towards one side of the argument, which may affect the completeness of the response.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the clarity of your ideas by introducing them more gradually instead of presenting them abruptly. Use a range of linking devices to ensure smooth transitions and organization of thoughts.

task achievement

Use concrete examples to support your points. While examples are provided, they can be fortified with more detailed situations and outcomes that are relevant to the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of the essay effectively. While both are present, they can be refined to better summarize and mirror each other.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

People living in big cities face several problems. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller town?

Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit the as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that if police force carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?