Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a debate among people who have the urge to stay in the same career and who are in favour of changing jobs once in a
while
.
While
doing the same work offers financial
stability
and gradual progress, periodic
job
change, can challenge individuals and increase their work experiences and income. In the changing world, in my opinion, changing jobs might be more helpful for acquiring new skill sets and career development. Financial
stability
and
job
security are the fundamental reasons for people who are urged to stay in the same occupation. They believe by staying at the same
job
, they can find work-life balance,
while
they can move up the career ladder by progressing in their field.
Moreover
, their salaries increase gradually and their pensions are guaranteed, which can help them to achieve financial
stability
without worrying about losing their
job
. The opposite group has a different attitude and always seeks new challenges.
First,
they want to break the monotony and take risks, which can help them acquire various experiences and make them adaptable to new working environments.
Second,
by having more knowledge and experience in different fields, they can acquire a higher income.
To conclude
,
although
numerous individuals tend to stay in the same
job
to gain financial
stability
and reach a work-life balance, others believe that they can be more adaptable in different working situations and gain more experience and money by changing their jobs.
Due to
the constantly changing world, in my opinion, the latter opinion is more sensible, and I support it.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific real-world examples to support your points. This will add depth to your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is mostly clear, a few sentences could be rephrased for better clarity. For example, the sentence "In the changing world, in my opinion, changing jobs might be more helpful for acquiring new skill sets and career development" can be rephrased to "In today's evolving world, I believe changing jobs can be more beneficial for acquiring new skills and career advancement."
task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion of both views and provided a clear opinion at the end.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clearly supported and logically structured. It's easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial insecurity
  • expertise
  • advance their careers
  • promotions
  • pay raises
  • recognition
  • personal and professional growth
  • work environments
  • responsibilities
  • skill set
  • adaptability
  • job satisfaction
  • mental health
  • stuck
  • stagnant
  • lucrative
  • job offers
  • commitment
  • instability
  • retirement plans
What to do next:
Look at other essays: