in many countries, number of older people are increase. some people says that this will cause more problems to that countries. others say that older people can play a role in society. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
argue that elderly Use synonyms
people
cause issues in society, Use synonyms
while
other Linking Words
people
there are no impacts on the Use synonyms
country
by their elderly Use synonyms
people
. In my opinion, I firmly believe there is no impact on society by elderly Use synonyms
people
and Use synonyms
that is
because of multiple reasons. Linking Words
This
essay will mention the benefits and drawbacks of elderly Linking Words
people
in society.
It is often assumed that adopting elderly Use synonyms
people
has no impact on the Use synonyms
country
but Use synonyms
also
provides some advantages. elderly Linking Words
people
have the ability to do daily Use synonyms
work
as volunteers or for less money. Use synonyms
This
is because of the long free time they have and doing Linking Words
work
for elderly Use synonyms
people
can improve their health as well. Use synonyms
For example
, a clerk employee only involves checking or signing papers, Linking Words
this
type of Linking Words
job
does not require any high physical demands. Use synonyms
Although
there is some truth to these ideas, it is true that occupying elderly Linking Words
people
to these jobs reduces the number of Use synonyms
job
vacancies for other employees who might be more professional at it. The reason behind Use synonyms
this
is that as more elderly Linking Words
people
apply for a Use synonyms
job
as higher risk for graduates, elderly Use synonyms
people
usually would be higher candidates for a Use synonyms
country
because of the lower salary they should pay for them. Use synonyms
For instance
, a concierge Linking Words
job
only includes paperwork or monitoring the building.
Another commonly held view is that elderly Use synonyms
people
have the potential to improve and help the Use synonyms
irrigation
Use synonyms
system
. Use synonyms
This
is perhaps Linking Words
due to
the favouritism of doing manual Linking Words
work
on the farm for elderly Use synonyms
people
. A good example of Use synonyms
that is
planting seeds or checking for any negative symptoms in plants. Linking Words
This
could really increase the quality of the Linking Words
irrigation
Use synonyms
system
in a Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
makes the assumption that, because elderly Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
work
in Use synonyms
irrigation
systems that could increase the chances of missing something or mixing other plants, which might harm the Use synonyms
irrigation
Use synonyms
system
of a Use synonyms
country
and decrease the income. To illustrate, elderly Use synonyms
people
who have some vision difficulties could mix other plants or put the wrong liquid on a plant.
In summary, elderly Use synonyms
people
could be a positive sign for a Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
due to
the ability and free time they have for better changing their Linking Words
country
. Use synonyms
In contrast
, elderly Linking Words
people
might put other Use synonyms
people
, especially graduates under threat for looking for a Use synonyms
job
. I would suggest a Use synonyms
country
hire elderly Use synonyms
people
to get their advantages but on basic jobs Use synonyms
such
as admin Linking Words
work
or Use synonyms
irrigation
Use synonyms
system
, Use synonyms
this
could be a compromise solution for both sides.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
In both the coherence and cohesion aspect, you should try to establish clearer logical connections between ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that introduces both views and a conclusion that summarizes them alongside your opinion. The introduction and conclusion presently lack clarity and directness.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed explanations and examples. There are assertions made that would benefit from clear illustrative examples or more in-depth justification.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion, as the task requires. You should elaborate on each view to the same extent to fully satisfy the task achievement criteria.
task achievement
Ideas presented should be more comprehensive and clearer. This can be achieved by fully expanding on points with explanations and examples, ensuring each paragraph has one main idea, and by providing clearer topic sentences.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your statements. Try to include real-world scenarios or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.