IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts below show that percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show that percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #intake #nutrients #person #usa #snacks #summarie #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart depicts the percentage
additional
Change preposition
of additional
show examples
 ingredients of
sodium
, saturated fat, and added sugar applied in daily basis meals of
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 citizens. From the overview perspective, it can be seen that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
vast majority
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 consume
sodium
 and saturated fats in their supper meals
as well as
 added sugar in snacks.
To begin
 with, the proportion of
sodium
, saturated fat, and added sugar intake in breakfast considerably only in modest
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 14-16% a day.
However
, there is an increasing amount of those nutrients added
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
USA
 citizen's
lunch
Fix the agreement mistake
lunches
show examples
 which are 29%, 26%, and 19% for
sodium
, saturated fat, and additional sweetener respectively. Another notable
information
Correct quantifier usage
piece of information
show examples
 is nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
sodium
 (43%) and more than one-third of saturated fat
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 added
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 food for dinner.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
snacks
Change preposition
of snacks
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consumed by
USA
 citizens added
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
glucose (42%) and only a few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other nutrients.
Submitted by hiitsmeee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, usa with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: