IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products ( such as cell phone ) or services ( e.g: medical treatment ). Do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, a tendency to pay attention to
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
while
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 purchasing some services can be claimed as the most important thing. It is agreed, that the cost of products does not guarantee high
quality
Use synonyms
,
therefore
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, it is not the main factor which deserves
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
 trust.
This
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 essay,
firstly
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,will discuss why humanity has so strong confidence that expensive purchases are trustworthy, followed by an analysis of factors which can be observed as a sign of good
quality
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, prices influence people's confidence in what they buy,because a trend that cheap stuff is adverse was formed
as a consequence
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 of
existence
Correct article usage
the existence
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expensive
Change preposition
of expensive
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 brands.
Moreover
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, famous people always wear or advertise only
Change preposition
to popular
show examples
popular
Change preposition
to popular
show examples
 manufacturers.
For example
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, Apple became commonly used in society only after celebrities started to exploit it. Undoubtedly, there are some factories which deserve to put their fee high , like Apple, because their products are meaningful and work properly.
However
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, a lot of stuff,especially clothes, have unjustifiably exorbitant prices.
For instance
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, Balenciaga has ridiculous things which it sells for thousands of dollars.
Conversely
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, a lot of brands which are at the beginning of their development are accessible to people with different economic statuses.
Nevertheless
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 , rich ones underestimate the
quality
Use synonyms
 of firms which is appeared recently, or whose prices are low.
In contrast
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 , there are a lot of small businesses whose products have to be considered as unique. As an example,
Correct article usage
the ukrainian
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ukrainian
Change the capitalization
Ukrainian
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 brand ST can be illustrated, since their clothes are really beautiful,
while
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 the cost is
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 .
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay agrees that not the price should determine the benefit and value of the product, but the
quality
Use synonyms
.

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intro concise
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement that outlines your position on the topic. Aim to present this at the end of your introduction.
coherence
Use cohesive devices appropriately to improve the flow and clarity between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This could include conjunctions, topic sentences, and a clear progression of ideas.
examples
Develop your main points with a mix of general statements and specific examples. Make sure examples are clearly related to the topic and are elaborated on sufficiently.
argumentation
Avoid making generalizations without support. Ensure that when you make a point, it is backed up by evidence or a clear line of reasoning.
language use
Check for incorrect or awkward phrases and work on using a variety of sentence structures to create a more natural flow of ideas.
conclusion
End with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This strengthens the overall coherency of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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