IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn foriegn language instead of studying in their home town What are advantages and disadvantages of this.

#people #travel #foriegn #language #home #town
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Thera
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
people
Use synonyms
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
 to travel
Use synonyms
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
country
Use synonyms
 to learn
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a foriegn
show examples
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of learning in their homeland. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think to travel abroad
country
Use synonyms
 to study a
Use synonyms
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is very helpful for our life. THE MAIN MERIT
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
together with
Linking Words
 studying a
Use synonyms
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
language
Use synonyms
 seeing and learning about the city gives a person spiritual nourishment. TO EXPLAIN, once you have learned the
language
Use synonyms
 you can try it with another person.
AS A RESULT
Linking Words
, you will have mastered the
language
Use synonyms
 by communicating with your
Use synonyms
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are learning
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
foreign
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some minuses. THE MAIN DEMERIT,
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 you may have financial issues until you learn the
language
Use synonyms
 well. TO EXPLAIN, you go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
country
Use synonyms
, you have
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money. It may run out
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
. You do not recognize many
people
Use synonyms
. It is very
diffucult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to
commonicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with others.
AS A RESULT
Linking Words
, you
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 tired and do not know a
country
Use synonyms
,you need a guide
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 a guide
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not save money.
FOR EXAMPLE
Linking Words
, my brother does not know anyone who had a hard time when he went to England to learn the
language
Use synonyms
.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
, it is easier to learn
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
 in
once's
Correct your spelling
one's
show examples
 own
country
Use synonyms
. IN CONCLUSION, many
people
Use synonyms
 go to another
country
Use synonyms
 to learn a
language
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 has advantages and disadvantages.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Both the advantages and disadvantages need to be explored in equal measure and in more depth. Providing more specific examples and extending your explanations would result in a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim for a more structured approach. Your ideas should be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme, and you should use a wider range of cohesive devices (such as however, consequently, furthermore) to connect your sentences and ideas more naturally.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: