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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people argue that in order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to make comments or even criticism of their teachers. Other think it will lead to loss of respects and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, the importance of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 level of education grows. Many people debate
to justify
Verb problem
that
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 empowering
students
Use synonyms
 to challenge their
teachers
Use synonyms
 is harmless,
while
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 others may feel uncomfortable doing so. Analysing the fact that the benefits of a liberal classroom
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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 the negative impact of having poor manners will prove the point. On one hand, allowing
students
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 to question their
teachers
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 may encourage creativity in the new generation.
For instance
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, pupils in
westernised
Capitalize word
Westernised
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 classrooms are given the privilege to ask and talk back to their educators.
This
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 form of teaching enhances their ability to think
out
Change preposition
outside
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 of the box. Without any doubt,
students
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 will understand the importance of freedom of speech, which aids them to tackle
this
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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 society.
Hence
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, it is understood that
students
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 should be encouraged to challenge their teacher.
On the other hand
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,
students
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 should simply follow instructions as disobedience is deemed to be rude.
For example
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, in the Chinese culture, no one even talks when
teachers
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 are speaking as they will be punished if they do. In
such
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 an environment,
students
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 learn to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
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amazing
listener
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listeners
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 as knowledge is being fed.
Students
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 develop great characteristics to succeed in life with the trade-off being caged up by schools. In conclusion, it is believed that
students
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 should be given
the
Correct article usage
apply
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permission to question their
teachers
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.
Instead
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 of being trained to be book smart, they gain from learning flexibly flexible learning. With that being said, it can be suggested that
students
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 should respect their
teachers
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, understanding that in any circumstances, speaking in a disrespectful manner shall not be tolerated.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear overall structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and transition words should be used to guide the reader. Strive to have balanced development of ideas within your body paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with specific and relevant examples. Strive to link these examples directly back to the question prompt to illustrate your point effectively.
task achievement
Be consistent in your viewpoint throughout the essay. The conclusion should reflect the discussion within the essay and restate your final opinion unequivocally.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your ideas. This makes your writing more interesting and demonstrates your language skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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