Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.   Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country

There is no doubt that

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

plays a crucial role in developing a

country

However

while

lots of governments believe that advances should be geared exclusively towards

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

economic

Replace the word

economy

show examples

, I would agree with those who argue that making progress in other aspects

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

just as vital for the nation.

Firstly

, it is essential that governments pay considerable attention to the

country

's economic health that enables our society to progress.

This

is because a

country

with an advanced

economy

is a

country

with a high level of job creation and employment which gives rise to higher salaries for citizens and provides the government more money to spend.

For example

, if a government's revenues

Change the verb form

are

show examples

high, it can invest more money in

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

system,

infrastracure

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

and public services, transport networks and other forms of facilities. The argument goes that if a

country

does not make progress in

economy

Correct pronoun usage

its economy

show examples

, it

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

strengthen other sectors.

However

, I believe that developments in other various sectors are not less significant than the

economy

. The reason for

this

is that the importance of other areas like human rights, social justice, equality and democracy, and protecting

natural

Add an article

the natural

show examples

environment

are

Change the verb form

show examples

seen as a reflection of

level

Add an article

the level

show examples

of advancement in a nation.

For instance

, the treatment of minority groups can often demonstrate moral standards and

level

Correct article usage

the level

show examples

of society. Alternatively, if authorities solely take the economic category

ino

Correct your spelling

into

account, we

wil

Correct your spelling

will

face a low-level society in terms of nature, mortality, and

citizens

Change noun form

citizens'

citizen's

show examples

satisfaction.

As a result

, many problems should be handled in order to have a standard public. In conclusion,

although

it is of critical importance that government put the

conomic

Correct your spelling

economic

development on

the

Correct article usage

show examples

pedestal, I feel that in order to advance totally it is necessary to develop all sectors in a parallel way.

Submitted by shamim1999 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs. You've done well in this regard, but consider enhancing the transitions between ideas for even better flow.

coherence cohesion

Maintain consistency in your essay introduction and conclusion. You have succeeded in presenting an introduction and conclusion, but work on making them even stronger and more reflective of your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with detailed examples. While you have provided examples, aim to include more specific details to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

Ensure you respond completely to the task by addressing all parts of the question. You have largely achieved this, but always review your response to make sure every aspect of the question is answered thoroughly.

task achievement

Present your ideas clearly and comprehensively. You have organized your ideas well, but strive for clarity in expressing your arguments to improve understanding.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. You could benefit from incorporating more concrete examples that directly relate to the topic, which will enhance your response and make your position more compelling.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

standard of living
sustainable development
social equality
environmental degradation
cultural heritage
technological innovation
wealth disparity
human development index
holistic approach
quality of life
economic prosperity
healthcare system
education system
cultural diversity
policy decisions

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that competition in work, school, and daily life is beneficial, while others argue that cooperation should be prioritized. Both approaches come with distinct advantages and disadvantages.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.   Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.