You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/ her. Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her.

#friend #advice #college #job #idea

Dear John, I am writing

this

letter in regard to asking advice to choose between pursuing

educational

Correct article usage

an educational

show examples

course or

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

. Attending college will be

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of two precious years where you will have

decent

Add an article

a decent

show examples

chance to explore

corporate

Add an article

the corporate

show examples

world. College will not be able to provide that kind of environment where you can really upgrade your skill sets. Pursuing

course

Correct article usage

a course

show examples

is not a good idea at

this

moment as there are

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of opportunities for jobs

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

available in

Correct article usage

the IT

show examples

sector. As these jobs will include

on the job

Add a hyphen

on-the-job

show examples

training for employees. You will have decent opportunities to sharpen your skills

while

working. I would like to add

further

that, jobs in Artificial intelligence technology will be best suitable option for you. As you are

expert

Correct article usage

an expert

show examples

in generative Tools of artificial intelligence. Companies are looking for people with that kind of skill

sets

Fix the agreement mistake

set

show examples

. Hope you

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

like my advice and act on that. ALL THE BEST Jim,

Submitted by yash334 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that the paragraphs flow logically from one to the next to create a structured argument or narrative.

Coherence & Cohesion

Start with a proper greeting and end with an appropriate closing to create a friendly and respectful tone throughout your letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to focus on one idea per paragraph. This makes your writing easier to follow and helps you develop your points more fully.

Task Achievement

Make sure to fully address all parts of the task and offer clear, detailed reasons for your advice. Expand your arguments for greater clarity and impact.

Task Achievement

Maintain a tone that is appropriate for the context of the letter. In this case, as it's a letter to a friend, the tone should be friendly and supportive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

157 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Real-world experience
Practical experience
Financial independence
On-the-job training
Student loan debt
Personal growth
Professional networking
Career development
Skilled workers
Job market
Career goals
Immediate income
Professional relationships
Market demand
Defining interests
Educational investments

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