Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #quality #school #students #offer #criticisms #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom

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The line graph illustrates the

consumption

Margarine

, Low fat and reduced

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Butter spreads in

grams

. The graph collates data from 1981 to 2007.

Overall

consumption

of both the

Margarine

and Butter spreads reduced over time

while

Low fat and reduced

spread

increased. The Butter

spread

was the most favoured

spread

in 1981 and the

consumption

of it increased until 1986 from 140

grams

to 160

grams

Then

, it decreased gradually from 160

grams

to about 50

gram

Fix the agreement mistake

grams

show examples

from 1986 to 2007.

On the other hand

consumption

of the

Margarine

spread

decreases from 90

grams

to 80

grams

from 1981 to 1986. It

then

had

Change the article

show examples

up trend that latest till 1991, increasing the

consumption

to 100

grams

. From

then

on, the

consumption

of the

Margarine

spread

declined to just 40

grams

from 1991 to 2007.

Last

but not least, the

consumption

of the Low fat and reduced

spread

increased sharply from 10

grams

in 1996 to almost 90

grams

in 2001.

However

, it decreased slightly in 2007 to an estimated 70

grams

Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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relevance and task response

Ensure that the essay is relevant to the given task. The task required a discussion on high school students questioning and criticizing teachers, and the impact on education and discipline. Your essay seems to be off-topic, describing a line graph about the consumption of spreads.

logical structure and coherence

Construct a logical flow of ideas. The essay should begin with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each view and culminate in a conclusion that summarizes your own opinion.

cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. This includes conjunctions, referencing words, synonyms, and transitional phrases.

introduction and conclusion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set up the discussion, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your own stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

174 words

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Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best way for a government to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern children are suffering from the disease that were once considered to be meant for adult only obesity is a major disease prevalent among children what are its causes and what solutions can be offered.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

First impressions are highly important. So, some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?