Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #quality #school #students #offer #criticisms #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom

The line graph illustrates the

consumption

Margarine

, Low fat and reduced

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Butter spreads in

grams

. The graph collates data from 1981 to 2007.

Overall

consumption

of both the

Margarine

and Butter spreads reduced over time

while

Low fat and reduced

spread

increased. The Butter

spread

was the most favoured

spread

in 1981 and the

consumption

of it increased until 1986 from 140

grams

to 160

grams

Then

, it decreased gradually from 160

grams

to about 50

gram

Fix the agreement mistake

grams

show examples

from 1986 to 2007.

On the other hand

consumption

of the

Margarine

spread

decreases from 90

grams

to 80

grams

from 1981 to 1986. It

then

had

Change the article

show examples

up trend that latest till 1991, increasing the

consumption

to 100

grams

. From

then

on, the

consumption

of the

Margarine

spread

declined to just 40

grams

from 1991 to 2007.

Last

but not least, the

consumption

of the Low fat and reduced

spread

increased sharply from 10

grams

in 1996 to almost 90

grams

in 2001.

However

, it decreased slightly in 2007 to an estimated 70

grams

Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on Fri Feb 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevance and task response

Ensure that the essay is relevant to the given task. The task required a discussion on high school students questioning and criticizing teachers, and the impact on education and discipline. Your essay seems to be off-topic, describing a line graph about the consumption of spreads.

logical structure and coherence

Construct a logical flow of ideas. The essay should begin with an introduction that clearly states the topic and your thesis, followed by body paragraphs that discuss each view and culminate in a conclusion that summarizes your own opinion.

cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs. This includes conjunctions, referencing words, synonyms, and transitional phrases.

introduction and conclusion

Provide a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set up the discussion, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your own stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

174 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over whether governments should invest their money in creative individuals such as artists or musicians. While others think it is a wasteful contribution due to the limited funds in the national treasury, I lean towards the positive side, believing that this investment can create more sources of income for the area.
7
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have just spent a weekend at a friend's house. When you returned home, you discovered that you had left a coat there. There are some important belongings in the pockets. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter explain that you have left the coat there say what the coat looks like, where you think you left it and what was in the pockets make some suggestions about how to get all of your belongings back You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Pat,
I'm just writing this letter to let you know that I left my coat at your place when I visited a few days ago.
7
band
Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Longer prison sentences are believed to be an effective method to reduce the number of crimes happening in society, whereas others argue that there is another way to decline the cases. In this essay, I will explain both of the opinions and discuss my own perspective.
5.5
band
In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Across the globe, many individuals own guns for self-defence and recreational purposes. Gun related mortalities in households – in particular – throw the ethics of such forms of private gun ownership into sharp relief. In this essay, I shall appeal to crime statistics to argue that a person is at a far greater risk being shot if there is a gun in a household.
4.5
band
9. Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages Which is a better approach.
Certain people like to work as a employe for the goverment or any private company, on the other hand there are some people who preffer to establish their own business they do not like to serve their knowledge or abilities to the third persons business. In my opinion, running our own business or getting employed with any company and getting a fix salary on monthly basis would prove beneficial but also have some drawbacks.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternative ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

9. Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages Which is a better approach.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+