Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
#people #governments #laws #people’s #nutrition #food #choices #health #freedom #choice #responsibility
In the modern era, there are some groups who insist that a related law should be created in order to impose on
people
a responsibility to look after their health with food
. However
, the other assertive perspective should be also
considered that a government
can encourage people
in a different way by providing more information to the public.
First of all, there are individuals asserting that a government
should establish a regulation to ensure society members 's health by restricting food
choices. This
is due to
the fact that a number of instant food
restaurants where do not care about nutrition in their food
and people
tend to buy unhealthy food
from them regardless if this
is healthy. This
should be considered as a factor which stands against increasing citizen's health. Therefore
, it can be reasonable for people
supporting the opinion to argue to introduce the related regulation.
Although
the former opinion seems to have a rationale, there is another point from some individuals endorsing that a government
can foster their people
to maintain their nutrition with an alternative. For example
, the government
can make a non-profit-advertisement on air which contains accurate information about the positive expectation of having well-balanced food
with fresh food
cooked at home. By doing this
, the authorised department can expect to promote nutritionally balanced food
to members of society. Hence
, it should be considered that there are different ways to inform people
of the risk of having unbalanced food
rather than limiting people
's choices.
To conclude
, the viewpoint of encouraging busy people
to have healthy food
by providing information about the positive aspects of the advertisement can be considered as a way to guide people
to have a healthy life, while
others raise their voices to create relevant regulations to limit buying unhealthy food
.Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, consider creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas together. Avoid overlong sentences that can confuse the reader. Strive for clarity in each point you make.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that both your introduction and conclusion succinctly summarize the main points of the essay and clearly present your position. They presently do a fair job, but could benefit from more direct statements of the essay's thesis and a more decisive stance in the conclusion.
task achievement
While you provided some good examples to support main points, you can improve by giving more detailed, relevant, and specific examples that clearly demonstrate the connection to the point you are making. This will strengthen the support for your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
A complete response to the task requires addressing all parts of the prompt thoroughly. It appears you have made some relevant points, but be sure to fully explore both views, provide a clear opinion of your own, and justify it with well-reasoned arguments.
task achievement
To present clear, comprehensive ideas, focus on developing one main idea per paragraph with additional supporting details. Make sure that every sentence contributes to the development of the argument or discussion of the topic. Avoid including redundant or unrelated information that does not serve this purpose.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
