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Band 4

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #country #work #trend
Nowadays, a majority of people abandon their
country
 to
work
 in another
country
, and they take their family to go with them. There are several merits and demerits to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 abroad. The advantages are getting more opportunities to
work
 and obtaining the best school, and the disadvantages are loneliness and
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
.
To begin
 with, the first advantage is increasing their career opportunity. Many countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
still entail many employees, and they afford high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many societies are
appealed
Wrong verb form
appealing
show examples
 to
work
 abroad.
For instance
, Australia is one of the countries in the world that frequently is visited by people from
in
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the whole
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
world because the government of Australia greatly cherish the employees with
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
around
Change preposition
of around
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 30$ per hour.
In addition
, another benefit is to obtain the best education.
Country
Add an article
A country
The country
show examples
that is
 arrived by communities to
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 ordinarily
is possessing
Wrong verb form
possesses
show examples
 many schools
that
is
Change the verb form
are
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 well.
Hence
, their children are able to gain
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
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 good quality.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, there drawback
living
Change preposition
of living
show examples
 in another
country
 is feeling loneliness. They feel that they live only with
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 because they do not have many friends and big families in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
country
.
Additionally
, another disadvantage is arduous to communicate. They settling in another
country
 have to know the language of that
country
. If they do not
mastery
Replace the word
master
show examples
 that language, they will difficult to interact with others.
To sum up
, there are advantages to
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 abroad
such
 as getting widely the occasion to
work
 and giving the best education
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their children.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the disadvantages are feeling
a live
Correct your spelling
alive
show examples
 alone and getting difficulty
to interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Submitted by fifi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should expand on that idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical sequencing of ideas to improve the flow of your essay. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses the prompt. Both the advantages and disadvantages should be explored in equal measure.
task achievement
Strive for clear and comprehensive development of ideas. Elaborate on your points and show how they relate to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expatriate
  • cultural sensitivity
  • globalized
  • social network
  • acculturation
  • extended family
  • professional development
  • language barriers
  • visa issues
  • identity confusion
What to do next:
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