In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

It is argued that

nowaday

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

many

people

move to the city from the village in many states,

thus

the number of citizens is falling down in the countryside. I really support that urbanization is a

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

problem in the modern world,

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

merits.

This

essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

tendency. A number of scientists have shown that in recent years there have been significant changes in

permanent

Correct article usage

the permanent

show examples

migration of humans from the villages to the big cities. Referring to some potentially positive outcomes of that tendency, some evidence indicates that now rural

people

prefer to go to town not only for living

and

Correct word choice

but

show examples

also

to get an education, a good high-paying job or to have an opportunity to spend time with enjoying. As a primary example, many artists who are really popular in their countries became

such

ones only thankful moving to the town to increase their lifestyle and the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

life level.

However

, some opponents who state that the population in the countryside is decreasing may deem the previous viewpoint questionable. It is often said that many villages are suffered from

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of specialists in different spheres,

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

teachers and lectures, doctors and

another medical workers

Replace the adjective

another medical worker

other medical workers

show examples

, pharmacists,

Correct word choice

and veterinours

show examples

veterinours

Correct your spelling

veterinary

due to

the fact that a ton of young

people

after graduating a school move to

city

Add an article

the city

a city

show examples

just because they want to get an excellent

tartaly

Correct your spelling

tartly

totally

education in the priority universities. So it tends to have a negative influence on old

people

and children especially .

For instance

, when someone from

Correct article usage

a patients

show examples

patients

Fix the agreement mistake

patient

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need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

a very fast medical aid it is a really large issue to deliver them to the medical center which is far away from the village.

Nevertheless

Add a comma

Nevertheless,

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it is very necessary to take into account all the details of each individual case. From my point of view, the disadvantages mentioned above outweigh the advantages as

this

also

follows from my own experience, for I was

Change the article

show examples

village

citizens

Change the noun form

citizen

show examples

when I was a teenager.

Submitted by balnur_amantay on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the question. Your conclusion should clearly state whether you see the development as positive or negative. Provide a summary of your key points in the conclusion.

Logical Structure

Create a more coherent essay by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use transition words to connect ideas and ensure the reader can follow your argument easily.

Supporting Details

Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples and explanations. Use data, statistics, or case studies to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Task Response

Ensure each of your body paragraphs has a clear main idea, followed by an explanation and a relevant example. Avoid general statements and make sure to directly answer the essay question in every part of your response.

Task Response

Your essay needs to directly address the essay prompt, presenting clear opinions and relevant examples. Avoid ambiguity in your position on the issue.

Coherence

Considering the variety of ideas, it's important to connect them clearly and logically. Develop your arguments progressively and make sure there's a logical flow from one idea to the next.

Relevance of Examples

Stay on topic and provide relevant examples directly related to the migration of rural people to cities and its consequences. Use these examples to effectively support your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays some people post offensive or uncomfortable things on social media. Do you think social companies should do somethings to prevent this? what do you think people should not be allowed to post on social media?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anyre in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

more people decided to have childreb in their later age than in the past, why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages ?

Tests and examinations are a central feature of school systems in many countries. Do you thinnk the educational benefits of testing outway any disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.