Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?
In the modern era,
although
a remarkable advancement on
Change preposition
in
a
Correct article usage
the
health
care
sector in the most developed nations, there is still a way to go further
in increasing a general their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
standard for them. With this
issue, the
possible solution should be in place to improve their Correct article usage
a
overall
biological health
perspective.
To begin
with, in many wealthy countries such
as the US, Australia, and Europe, it can be undeniable that they have already introdudced
their Correct your spelling
introduced
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
care
products including medical equipments
, professional skills, and medications. Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
This
leaded
to a great outcome of Correct your spelling
led
health
Add an article
the health
care
system
in
Change preposition
at
a
advanced level to look after Change the article
an
people
who need their support and are already in the system
.
Nonetheless
, on the other hand
, the overall
viewpoint of the concept for
Change preposition
of
indivudial
physical Correct your spelling
individual
health
seems not to be followed by improvement of the health
care
service. The compelling rationale can be considered that people
does
not have enough time to look after their Change the verb form
do
health
as they are already busy with their careers and personal lives. This
might contribute to making individuals put their health
status behind
.
Yet, there is an assertive solution to address the issue which should be fostering all members of society to access a Correct pronoun usage
behind them
ragular
Correct your spelling
regular
health
check via public
Correct article usage
the public
health
system
. This
may bring a considerable benefit to the public to recognise their own health
and to comprehend the importance of their health
for maintain
their Change the verb form
maintaining
well-beings
. Correct your spelling
well-being
Therefore
, this
can be the
alternative for Correct article usage
an
people
to enhance the
general view Change the word
their
for
the significance of Change preposition
of
people
's physical health
.
To sum up
, it can be seen that the fundamental standard of physical health
in many rich countries is considered less important in spite of installing significant improvement
in the Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
health
care
system
. However
, the
general Correct article usage
a
health
check on a regular basis would lead to developing the
Correct article usage
apply
people
's perspective in
Change preposition
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
health
care
.Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Provide a clear, detailed explanation for the reasons behind the decline in physical health and offer concrete, specific examples or evidence to support the solutions proposed.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to organize your ideas logically, making use of paragraphs to separate main ideas. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (such as conjunctions, pronouns, and linking phrases) to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Clarify the relationship between ideas to enhance the essay's overall flow and readability.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.