Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?

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In the modern era,
although
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a remarkable advancement in the
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health
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healthcare
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care
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sector in
the
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apply
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most developed nations, there is still a way to go
further
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in increasing
a
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the
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general
health
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standard for them. With
this
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issue, a possible solution should be in place to improve their
overall
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biological
health
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perspective.
To begin
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with, in many wealthy countries
such
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as the US, Australia, and Europe, it can be undeniable that they have already introduced their healthcare products including medical equipment, professional skills, and medications.
This
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led to a great outcome of the
health
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care
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system
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at an advanced level to look after
people
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who need their support and are already in the
system
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.
Nonetheless
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,
on the other hand
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, the
overall
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viewpoint of the concept of individual physical
health
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seems not to be followed by improvement of the
health
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care
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service. The compelling rationale can be considered that
people
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do not have enough time to look after their
health
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as they are already busy with their careers and personal lives.
This
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might contribute to making individuals put their
health
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status behind them. Yet, there is an assertive solution to address the issue which should be
fostering
Verb problem
to encourage
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all members of society to access a regular
health
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check via the public
health
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system
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.
This
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may bring a considerable benefit to the public to recognise their own
health
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and to comprehend the importance of their
health
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for maintaining their well-being.
Therefore
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,
this
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can be an alternative for
people
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to enhance their general view of the significance of
people
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's physical
health
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.
To sum up
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, it can be seen that the fundamental standard of physical
health
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in many rich countries is considered less important in spite of installing significant improvements in the
health
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care
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system
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.
However
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, a general
health
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check on a regular basis would lead to developing
people
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's perspective on their
health
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care
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.
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task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and presents some ideas related to the decline in physical health despite advancements in healthcare. However, the response is a bit repetitive, and requires further development of ideas and arguments. Expand more on why the general standard of health is failing, even with advanced healthcare systems.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address both parts of the question: reasons for the falling standards and potential solutions. Provide specific examples and clear arguments to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to show clear relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and enhance lexical resource usage for a more engaging and complex argument presentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of physical health
  • developed countries
  • falling
  • lifestyle changes
  • unhealthy habits
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • lack of physical activity
  • fast food
  • unhealthy diets
  • stress
  • mental health issues
  • environmental factors
  • lack of education
  • awareness
  • government policies
  • regulations
  • promotion of healthy habits
  • awareness campaigns
  • stricter regulations
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • physical activity
  • exercise programs
  • balanced diet
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