In some countries crime rates aroong teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the couses of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Over the
Post
Correct your spelling
Past
show examples
few decades, violence has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased significantly among
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
population.
Young
Add an article
The young
show examples
population is the most challenging team in the society. There are several reasons for that
such
as
movies
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
related to criminal or
muder
Correct your spelling
murder
cases
and lack of experience.
This
essay will explain the
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
courses
and the solution for
this
. The primary issue is
movies
which based on criminal
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. These
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
of
movies
have increased and young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
are addicted to
watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
and they tend to do
for instance
, students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
united
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
states usually do
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
activities
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
.
Hence
, parents
as well as
school
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should pay attention and take action to mitigate
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
cases
.
For instance
,
parent
Add an article
a parent
the parent
show examples
can
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
and learn the risk of criminal
cases
,
as well as
cligital
Correct your spelling
clinical
digital
devices like smartphones,
taplet
Correct your spelling
tablets
tablet
and computers should be minimized
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
the students.
Furthermore
,
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
of teenagers is
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
affect
Replace the word
affected
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cases
Add an article
the cases
show examples
because lack of money is the key point of it.
Therefore
, most younger generation
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not listen to others, and they do anything that they want and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
bad or not consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any factors that
bad
Add a missing verb
are bad
show examples
or not.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they do some illegal action to achieve their target.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
should
established
Wrong verb form
establish
show examples
rules and regulations to control
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of activities.
Besides
,
schoolarship
Correct your spelling
scholarship
scholarships
should be provided to turn their mindset,
then
gredually
Correct your spelling
gradually
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminal
Add an article
the criminal
show examples
cases
will mitigate
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
. Anyhow, both government and
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
deeply consider these factors
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
. In conclusion, increasing criminal
cases
among youth, which is badly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both society and them. The main reasons like poverty,
Correct word choice
and unappreciate
show examples
unappreciate
Correct your spelling
unappreciated
movies
must be mitigated,
while
introduce
Change the verb form
introducing
show examples
the best action for them to
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
.
Submitted by dilsha.charuki on

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coherence cohesion
Work on constructing clearer and more logical sentences to enhance coherence. The essay is difficult to follow at times due to a lack of clarity and grammatical errors.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more systematically. Use paragraphs effectively to introduce each point, and use linking words to better connect your thoughts.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be clear and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Ensure you have answered all parts of the question in a balanced way. Expand more systematically on both the causes and the solutions to the issue.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure that each main point is elaborated upon with sufficient detail.
task achievement
Mind the accuracy of language use to ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly. Work on your grammar and vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Your introduction should provide a clear thesis statement, and your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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