In some countries crime rates aroong teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the couses of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

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Over the
Post
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Past
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few decades, violence has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly among
young
Correct article usage
the young
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population.
Young
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The young
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population is the most challenging team in the society. There are several reasons for that
such
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as
movies
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which
is
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are
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related to criminal or
muder
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murder
cases
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and lack of experience.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain the
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
courses
and the solution for
this
Linking Words
. The primary issue is
movies
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which based on criminal
background
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backgrounds
show examples
. These
sort
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sorts
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of
movies
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have increased and young
individual
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individuals
show examples
are addicted to
watch
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watching
show examples
and they tend to do
for instance
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, students
of
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in
show examples
united
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the united
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states usually do
violence
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violent
show examples
activities
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
.
Hence
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, parents
as well as
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school
authority
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authorities
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should pay attention and take action to mitigate
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of
cases
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
parent
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a parent
the parent
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can
advice
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advise
show examples
and learn the risk of criminal
cases
Use synonyms
,
as well as
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cligital
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clinical
digital
devices like smartphones,
taplet
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tablets
tablet
and computers should be minimized
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
the students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
poverty
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the poverty
show examples
of teenagers is
quiet
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quite
show examples
affect
Replace the word
affected
show examples
for
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in
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
cases
Add an article
the cases
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because lack of money is the key point of it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most younger generation
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not listen to others, and they do anything that they want and
not
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are not
show examples
bad or not consider
about
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apply
show examples
any factors that
bad
Add a missing verb
are bad
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or not.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they do some illegal action to achieve their target.
Government
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The government
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should
established
Wrong verb form
establish
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rules and regulations to control
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
show examples
of activities.
Besides
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,
schoolarship
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scholarship
scholarships
should be provided to turn their mindset,
then
Linking Words
gredually
Correct your spelling
gradually
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminal
Add an article
the criminal
show examples
cases
Use synonyms
will mitigate
gradual
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gradually
show examples
. Anyhow, both government and
parent
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parents
show examples
deeply consider these factors
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
. In conclusion, increasing criminal
cases
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among youth, which is badly
affect
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affects
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both society and them. The main reasons like poverty,
Correct word choice
and unappreciate
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unappreciate
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unappreciated
movies
Use synonyms
must be mitigated,
while
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introduce
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introducing
show examples
the best action for them to
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
.
Submitted by dilsha.charuki on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more systematically. Use paragraphs effectively to introduce each point, and use linking words to better connect your thoughts.
task achievement
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task achievement
Ensure you have answered all parts of the question in a balanced way. Expand more systematically on both the causes and the solutions to the issue.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure that each main point is elaborated upon with sufficient detail.
task achievement
Mind the accuracy of language use to ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly. Work on your grammar and vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Your introduction should provide a clear thesis statement, and your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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