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Band 5.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
Some people think that university tuition should be paid by
students
 since higher
education
 brings advantages for individuals rather than society.
Nevertheless
, I believe that the government should help
students
 cover tertiary
education
.
Firstly
, paying full tuition could reduce the opportunities for
students
 from disadvantaged backgrounds to get higher
education
.
Due to
 not being able to afford tuition, some
students
 would choose to work after finishing high school. Without higher
education
, it's hard for them to get decent jobs. They may end up getting low-paid jobs or being unemployed, which is not good for the progress of society.
Thus
, free tertiary
education
 would lift the financial burden
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many
students
, empower them to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their potential
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and generate social mobility.
Secondly
, offering free
education
 can benefit the country in the long term. If higher
education
 was subsidized, more and more people would opt to study for university degrees. A well-educated workforce would no doubt boost the productivity of the nation, contribute more to tax revenue, and reduce the unemployment rate.
Moreover
, these skilled workers could come up with solutions to tackle social problems and bring about innovations in
lots of
Correct word choice
many
show examples
 aspects of life. Society would indeed become better with a large population of skilled workers. In conclusion, I am convinced that providing free
education
 would be a smart step for the government to take because higher
education
 is the key factor that drives the development of individuals and the nation.
Submitted by M.zeshan5999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you present a clear thesis statement in your introduction that reflects your overall opinion and that you refer back to this in your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a range of cohesive devices, ensuring not to overuse them, to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your main points by providing more detailed and specific examples that directly support your argument.
task achievement
Try to cover all aspects of the topic; consider the counter-argument more explicitly to show a full response to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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