IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line chart illustrates how much money
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
househould
Correct your spelling
households
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 on their
children
Use synonyms
's
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a monthly basis from 2008 to 2014. The second line chart compares
children
Use synonyms
's
attendency
Correct your spelling
attendance
 in 3 different sports in
this
Linking Words
 6-year period.
overall
Linking Words
, there is an obvious increasing trend line in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities
expeditures
Correct your spelling
expenditures
 in
given
Add an article
a given
the given
show examples
 period.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
Swimmers
Change preposition
of Swimmers
show examples
 and Athletics significantly increased and
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 who play Football increased just a little.
lets's
Correct subject-verb agreement
Let's
show examples
 get more
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the amount of money cost by each family
experience
Correct subject-verb agreement
experiences
show examples
 a growth of about 10 pounds
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each month which means they
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 almost 30
pound
Change to a plural noun
pounds
show examples
 every month for their athletic
children
Use synonyms
. in the second graph it can be seen
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 who swim rose by about 70% and there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 3 million
swimmersin
Correct your spelling
swimmers in
swimmers
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 2014. if we pay attention to the period between 2010 and 2012 we can realise
Use synonyms
number
Add an article
the number
a number
show examples
 of Athletics rose by 5 times, from about 1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
athletics
Replace the word
athletes
show examples
 to about 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
outnumberd
Correct your spelling
outnumbered
outnumber
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of swimmers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words children, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • over the period
  • fluctuations
  • incremental increase
  • sharp decline
  • steady growth
  • sporting activities
  • athletic gear
  • membership fees
  • coaching expenses
  • inflation-adjusted
  • disposable income
  • socioeconomic factors
  • extracurricular
  • grassroots development
  • investment in youth sport
What to do next:
Look at other essays: