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Band 2.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown What are the advantages and disadvantages of this

#people #travel #language #hometown
Amount number of humans select to trip overseas to tuition
to
Change preposition
apply
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an exotic tongues
Correct the article-noun agreement
an exotic tongue
exotic tongues
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 as an alternative
of acquire
Change preposition
to acquiring
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 knowledge of their
hometown
.There are several advantages
and
Correct word choice
apply
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of
Change preposition
to
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this
 situation ,
while
Correct word choice
but
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 we must explore
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 From one perspective ,individuals' exploring new cultures and foreign
languages
 is well
development
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developed
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.
This
 condition
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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people
's perspective and educated personages may increase .
Thus
, young generations and adults are learning various external
languages
 .If
people
 do not know new knowledge and cultures they do not grow up.
For example
 ,a person who knows only
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 practices may not be
model
Correct article usage
a model
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 for younger individuals.
On the other hand
 , learning only other tongues and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not exploring
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
 tongue may
be
Verb problem
apply
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ignore their nation .I think
people
 should study foreign
languages
 and local culture ,because, they are equally important .
Hometown
 language is
symbol
Add an article
a symbol
the symbol
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 of local culture and nation ,
as well as
,knowing it is
first
Change the article
the first
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 level .
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 nonnative argots are important too.
For example
 ,one
personage
Correct your spelling
person
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 who knows
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
his hometown
her hometown
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 tongues and
another
Replace the adjective
another language
other languages
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languages
 is
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
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 model for everyone .
Furthermore
 , knowing other cultures
enlargers
Correct your spelling
enlarges
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people
's perspective . If we do not
know
Verb problem
have
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 a lot of
informs
Replace the word
information
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 and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 we will not achieve success .A human who
achiever
Correct your spelling
achieves
show examples
 success is
ideal
Add an article
the ideal
an ideal
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 model . In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
hometown
 knowledge and distant
languages
 are equally important . We can not choose one of
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on creating a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into well-defined paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Avoid abrupt transitions and ensure each sentence flows naturally into the next.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt by providing a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Expand your ideas to fully respond to the question, and try to include relevant, specific examples that support your points. Also, be detailed and explanatory in your analysis of each point to fully flesh out your answer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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