IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

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In
this
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 modern epoch, it is always a debate topic whether people prefer to live in a flat or
house
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 around the world.
Whereas
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 some people prefer to live in houses, others feel living in an
apartment
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 has more benefits. Living in a
house
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 has more advantages than disadvantages;
this
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 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
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 with, there are several benefits of living in a
house
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 than an
apartment
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. One of the major benefits is that
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house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 type of accommodation has plenty of space around the
house
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such
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 as a large living room, kitchen and hallway,
hence
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 enormous people like to build an independent
house
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 to get all these amenities.
For example
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the villages of India are loaded with an independent
house
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 and they have huge areas of gardens in front of their houses. Another benefit is that a single
house
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 has more space for parking areas compared to flats, so individuals who prefer to live in these accommodations do not face any
adorous
Correct your spelling
odorous
amorous
 situations.
In contrast
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, there are some drawbacks of living in a
house
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 than a flat. One of the main disadvantages is that an
apartment
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 has an extreme security system to protect the families who live in the apartments.
For example
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, flats have the highest scanning security system, so the unknown persons do not enter without permission,
as a result
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, they live safely. Another disadvantage is that the apartments have all the amenities like a swimming pool, shops and even a hospital, so mankind can utilise all these facilities under one roof without going
to
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apply
show examples
outside as compared to living in a
house
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.
To conclude
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, living in a
house
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 has more space
of
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for
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 parking areas and
rooms
Change the noun form
room
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 facilities; living in a flat has more security services and
high-standard
Correct article usage
a high-standard
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 lifestyle and amenities.
However
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, living in a
house
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 has more advantages than disadvantages compared to living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction more clearly addresses the question. Although you have provided an overview, make sure that your thesis statement reflects the specific advantages and disadvantages, as this will guide your essay and respond more directly to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
In developing your paragraphs, aim to include clearer topic sentences that express the main idea of each paragraph. This makes your argument more explicit and guides the reader through your points effectively.
task achievement
Each paragraph should include specific examples to support your points. While you provided some examples, strive to make them more relevant and detailed to enhance your argument and meet the reader's expectations for illustrative content.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use a wider range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. While you do use these, varying your usage will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful of spelling and grammar errors such as 'adorous' which should be 'arduous', and 'mankind' which is not the appropriate term for referring to people in an essay. Such errors can detract from the clarity and professionalism of the writing. Proofreading your work can help eliminate these mistakes.
task achievement
For a robust conclusion, succinctly summarize the main points of the essay without introducing new information, and ensure that you restate your thesis in light of the arguments presented throughout your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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