Many young children are spending large amount of time in front of screens. What are the causes of this and what other problems does it lead to?
There are 3 main reasons why
children
in this
generation tend to spend a large amount of time in front of gadgets. One, technology
has advanced a lot over the past years, therefore
it is without a doubt that technology
has taken over our lives. We can't fully say that technology
is not beneficial, as there are so many advancements in many sectors all because of technology
and AI. Second,
most parents tend to have the same bad habits - spending large amounts of time in front of screens - therefore
children
tend to follow them as parents are their biggest impact. Third,
most of the learning done in school is uploaded through online platforms. I think this
was first done, during the COVID-19 Pandemic, and ever since that event, everything has shifted online.
Although
technology
and AI have a lot of benefits, there are also
a lot of problems that may arise from it. Firstly
, mental health problems has
been rising ever since the Pandemic of COVID-19. Not only was it because of the Change the verb form
have
increase
time people stayed inside the house, but Change the verb form
increased
also
because the
amount of cyberbullying that increased through social media. With Change preposition
of the
children
scrolling through social media more these days, it's more likely for them to have mental health problems. Secondly
, long-term
problem includes sight problem. As we all know, looking at the screen for too long is not good for our eyes. Add an article
the long-term
This
is also
why children
these days tend to use glasses more. Last
but not least, there are many bad
Change preposition
of bad
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
in
the internet, Change preposition
on
such
as violence and adult content. In
most platforms, it is very easy to access them - Change preposition
On
Therefore
it might be very dangerous for children
, especially if their parents have not taught them regarding
good content and bad content.
In conclusion, advancement in Change preposition
about
technology
has impacted the world - both, good and bad. However
, we will not be able to stop the advancement of it in the future, therefore
it is really important to be able to know which is beneficial and which is not. If everyone is able to do so, the world can be a happier place.Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on
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coherence cohesion
Aim to clearly outline the causes and problems in the introduction for a stronger foundation to your essay.
task achievement
Develop each main point with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument and meet the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical flow by using a range of linking expressions to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on the solutions or recommendations which might address the problems discussed, in keeping with the task's expectations.
coherence cohesion
Double-check your essay structure to include a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion