Some people believe that children should begin formal learning at school as young as possible. However, others feel that children should not begin school until they are at least seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Children are the backbone of every
nat
Correct your spelling
nation
show examples
.
Whereas
some people think that children should start to learn at an early
age
, others say that
toddlers
should begin to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
at
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
age
which is
seven
.
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
To begin
with,
toddlers
should have to learn at an early
age
because
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
time their memory power is strong
due to
their brain is developed, so whatever they learn
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not difficult to learn; not only learning the
school
subjects but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning the foreign languages because they have more concentration powers.
For example
, many successful individuals have started their education at an early
age
. Needless to say, both parents
also
have a chance to work when their infants go to an educational institution for formal learning. Hereby, learning the formal studies to
toddlers
at an early
age
has more benefits.
In contrast
, children should not go to
school
until
seven
years old because
this
is the right
age
to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
communication skills in order to the child have a chance to improve
social
Correct pronoun usage
their social
show examples
skills through
interact
Replace the word
interaction
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fellow students,
as a result
, they have more interests to go to
school
without pushing anybody.
For instance
,
students
Change preposition
for students
show examples
who enrolled
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
basis
Replace the word
basic
show examples
education after
seven
, their academic performance
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
on the top compared to
enrolled
Correct pronoun usage
those enrolled
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
early.
Besides
, pupils like to know other things rather than their academic syllabus
such
as language learning, arts and coding.
Hence
, studying at
seven
is the best time for the child.
To conclude
,
although
learning at an early
age
brings more concentration and memory powers, learning at
seven
assists
to improve
Change preposition
in improving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication skills and academic performance.
However
, in my opinion, about
this
, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that learning at an early
age
is the choice for
toddlers
to study
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
formal education.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points effectively, improving the persuasiveness of your argument, to enhance the relevance of your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Try using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph support this idea thoroughly, without deviating from the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: