IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugarcane.
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The presented process diagram provides a
well explained
Add a hyphen
well-explained
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 overview of the stages involved in
production
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the production
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 from sugarcane.
This
Linking Words
 procedure comprises
of
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apply
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seven stages and those are growing,harvesting, crushing,purifying juice,evaporating, centrifuging,drying and cooling. The growth period
tooks
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took
 twelve to eighteen months and harvesting by means of tractor or manual.Once the growth phase is over and the crop reaches its maturity,it is harvested by tools or machinery.The stalk
undergo
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undergoes
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crushing via
grinder
Correct article usage
a grinder
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 resulting
the
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in the
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 extraction of juice.The extracted juice
directed
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is directed
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 into
a
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an
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 evaporator through a limestone filter which undergoes heating and results in
thick
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a thick
the thick
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,viscous form known as syrup.
Therefore
Linking Words
,the syrup undergoes separation from
sugar
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 crystals which tend to isolate the carbohydrate crystals from syrup.Later ,the
sugar
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 is dried and cooled resulting
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sugar
Change preposition
in sugar
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 as the final and expected product.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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