Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socializing online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the present world,
The
Correct article usage
apply

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information technology is more developed and still on the rise.
Smartphones
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and social
medias
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media

It appears that the noun medias is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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are owned by everyone from different ages and statuses including teenagers.
This
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phenomena
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phenomenon

It appears that the singular demonstrative This is modifying the plural noun phenomena. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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leads to
the
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a

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decrease in
real
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real-life

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life
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socialization because they prefer to
spent
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spend

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their
time
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meeting with friends or other
people
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by
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apply

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online.
This
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essay will discuss
about
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apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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why
this
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is
happened
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happening

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and
also
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the solution.
To begin
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with, the development of technology brings many advantages
in
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to

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our daily lives. It
help
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helps

It appears that the subject pronoun It and the verb help are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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us to connect with other
people
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from different nations, learn
many
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apply

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new knowledge and gather the information we need.
Beside
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Besides

The word Beside doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
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apply

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the benefits, technology
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject technology. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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many disadvantages, and one of them is limiting our
real
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real-life

It seems that real life is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

interaction
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the comfort
they
Correct pronoun usage
it

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offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers

It seems that the verb offer does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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in online socialization.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be a disaster as many young
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will
lost
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lose
be lost

The verb lost after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to interact with other
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

directly.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can affect them not only mentally but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

physically because they spend most of their
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at home without fresh air and sun exposure.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can take several solutions to overcome
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem. The practical solution is to reduce their daily screen
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
smartphones
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or any communication devices. And
accomodate
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accommodate

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them to spend more
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

outside
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as running, jogging, and walking. One of the reasons why most teenager
really
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are really

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dependent
with
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on

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their phone
because
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is because

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smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can make someone become addicted.
By cutting
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Cutting

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and limiting their
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
another positive activities
Replace the adjective
another positive activity
other positive activities

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun activities. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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including reading a book, planting, and spending more
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with family and friends can help them
to
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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become less addicted
with
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to

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smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and socialize more with
othe
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other

If you don’t want othe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

people
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in real
life
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. In conclusion, virtual communication is not bad but us and teenagers. But, we need to balance it with our
real
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real-life

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life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions

It seems that interaction may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb doing appears to be unnecessary here.

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intimate face-to-face communication with our friends and family.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, at least 2 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use topic sentences to begin each paragraph and maintain focus on the task prompts.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and details. Provide more depth in your arguments by explaining how technology affects teenagers' social skills and proposing concrete actions that can encourage in-person interactions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing a clear introduction and a summary of your main points in your conclusion. Each paragraph should follow logically from the previous, with clear connections and transitions between them.
Task Achievement
Make sure to answer all parts of the question directly. Address why teenagers prefer online socialization and suggest measures for promoting in-person interaction. Expand on these elements in each body paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the range and accuracy of vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition and aim for variety to more effectively express your ideas and keep the reader engaged.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
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