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Band 4

The pie chart below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.

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The pie chart below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.
This
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 document illustrates the differences
of
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in
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age
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 between the
habitants
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inhabitants
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 of France and
India
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at the end
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 of the XX’s century.
Overall
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, there are people of all ages in European
country
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countries
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, the percentage of each
age
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 is very similar.
By
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contrast
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contrast,
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 in
India
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, the population is younger
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the
amount
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number
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 of old people is very
weak
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low
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. The Indian population is younger than the French
.
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population.
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 In France, there are males of all ages; 1 to more than 85 years, the percentage of each range of
age
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 is quite constant, except in the
last
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ones
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age range
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, where the proportion decreases.
Otherwise
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, in
India
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, there are hardly any men over 70 years
and
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old and
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 more young
habitants
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inhabitants
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 than old ones.
However
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, the
frenchs
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French
 men have a longer life than the Indians. In
India
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,
wimen
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women
 die early, there are hardly any old
wimen
Correct your spelling
women
 and a lot of young ones, the higher the
age
Use synonyms
 ranges go, the lower the percentage
go
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goes
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.
Although
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,
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apply
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 in the occident country, women
lives
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live
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 until more than 85 years old. All things considered, the French females are much older than the indian.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous waste
  • recycling
  • incineration
  • waste management
  • percentage
  • burial
  • environmental impact
  • strategy
  • comparison
  • significant
  • methodology
  • effective
  • implications
  • trend analysis
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