IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show how frequently people in US ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 2013

The chart below show how frequently people in US ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 2013
#show #people #food #restaurants
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The chart below illustrates how frequently
folk
Use synonyms
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 ate
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants between 2003, 2006 and 2013.As you can see, A few
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 prefer
ate
Change the verb form
to eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and never.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, In 2003 nearly 5
percent
Use synonyms
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 prefer ate
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 every day.
In addition
Linking Words
, In 2006 and 2013 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same rate.
Also
Linking Words
, In 2003 about 16
percent
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 several times a week.
Moreover
Linking Words
, about 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month went to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurants and ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 and about 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 a few times a year ate
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, In 2003 5
percent
Use synonyms
 of
folk
Use synonyms
 never ate fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the most of percentage is
blong
Correct your spelling
belong
 to 2006 and 2013
as you can see in 2006 about 33
Add the comma(s)
, as you can see in 2006 about 33 percent of people,
show examples
percent
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferred
show examples
 once a week went to the restaurant and ate fast
food
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, In the
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
 a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 went to the restaurant and ate not healthy
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, In 2003, 2006 and 2013 a few
percentage
Change to a plural noun
percentages
show examples
 of
folk
Use synonyms
perefer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 or never. Ergo, It is obvious that in all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 3 years
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 who live in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 prefer
ate
Change the verb form
to eat
show examples
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 once a week or twice a month at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
restruant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words folk, junk, food, people, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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