The chart below show how frequently people in US ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 2013
The chart below illustrates how frequently
folk
in US
ate Correct article usage
the US
junk
food
restaurants between 2003, 2006 and 2013.As you can see, A few of
Change preposition
apply
people
prefer ate
fast Change the verb form
to eat
food
everyday
and never.
Replace the word
every day
According to
the graph, In 2003 nearly 5 percent
of folk
prefer ate junk
food
every day. In addition
, In 2006 and 2013 have a
same rate. Correct article usage
the
Also
, In 2003 about 16 percent
of people
ate fast food
several times a week. Moreover
, about 30 percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
folk
once or twice a month went to the
restaurants and ate fast Correct article usage
apply
food
and about 14 percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
folk
a few times a year ate junk
food
. Also
, In 2003 5 percent
of folk
never ate fast food
.Also
, It is clear that
the most of percentage is blong
to 2006 and 2013Correct your spelling
belong
as you can see in 2006 about 33
Add the comma(s)
, as you can see in 2006 about 33 percent of people,
percent
of people
prefer
once a week went to the restaurant and ate fast Wrong verb form
preferred
food
.
In conclusion, In the past
a Add a comma
past,
little
percentage of Correct word choice
small
people
went to the restaurant and ate not healthy meal
. Fix the agreement mistake
meals
However
, In 2003, 2006 and 2013 a few percentage
of Change to a plural noun
percentages
folk
perefer
ate fast Correct your spelling
prefer
food
everyday
or never. Ergo, It is obvious that in all Replace the word
every day
this
3 years Change the determiner
these
a
most of Correct article usage
apply
people
who live in Correct article usage
the people
US
prefer Correct article usage
the US
ate
Change the verb form
to eat
junk
food
once a week or twice a month at the
Correct article usage
a
restruant
.Correct your spelling
restaurant
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words folk, junk, food, people, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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