IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households in three income categories as a proportion of their income.

The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households in three income categories as a proportion of their income.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates how much each house spent in correlation with their respective salary per year, whether it is low, medium, or high.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all households spent the majority of their wage to buy housing needs, followed by transport necessities. It is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 interesting to see that those with a high salary put a lot of their payment into retirement savings compared to those with a low or medium income. Looking at more detail, the bill spent on housing in all levels of cash almost reaches 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 of their whole income.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all households spent the least amount on eating out and prefer cooking their own food at home, especially houses that have low earnings.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they spent a lot more on utilities and health compared to other levels of earnings.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those with high
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes

It seems that income may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
 use their money a lot more for tertiary needs, like clothing, entertainment, and savings.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have more money to put their kids in a higher-cost education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: