IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some argue that scientific
research
Use synonyms
 has a greater influence than politicians in the world,
while
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 others believe that politicians hold more importance in a country
due to
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 their influential status. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific
research
Use synonyms
 is more important than any other profession
due to
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 its
impact
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 on the human race.
Moreover
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, the survival of the human race is dependent on science. I have discussed both sides of the argument in
this
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 essay and
also
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provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 reasons for each statement. On the one hand, many believe that scientists have a greater
impact
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 on society than politicians. One of the main reasons is the recent advancement in modern technology. In
this
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 modern world,everyone wants to live a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle which can not be achieved without the help of science.
Moreover
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, majority of the people think that continuous
research
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 and innovation is a necessity for ensuring a safe future on
this
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 planet.
For instance
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, the pandemic of Covid-19 makes people more aware of the importance of scientific
research
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. We cannot deny the fact that the invention of vaccines was not possible without a scientist.
However
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, there is no doubt that the profession of a politician holds significance in changing society, but technological advancement is something which can not be neglected by anyone.
On the other hand
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, some argue that
government
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the government
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 not only rule a country by introducing new policies in the state but
also
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ensure
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ensures
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 the safety of every person.
In other words
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, a ruling political party actually decides the future of a state.
In addition
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, the government ensure the safety of the state by introducing a variety of rules on a day-to-day basis.
Nevertheless
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, the role of a MLA and a MPA is involved in every good and bad situation of a country whether it is related to criminal activity or a social and economic issue. We cannot neglect the importance of
this
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 job in any way.
To conclude
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, I believe that the
impact
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 of a scientist is greater than the
impact
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 of a politician
due to
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 several factors. No doubt, we can ensure a safe future for mankind only through technological developments.
Thus
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, the profession of the researcher is more important for the continuity of the human race than a political figure.

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Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support main points, rather than only discussing general ideas. For instance, provide real-life cases or statistics to enhance the argument about scientific advances or political impacts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop paragraphs more fully by expanding on each point with detailed explanations and arguments. A single sentence or a very brief paragraph is often insufficient to convey the complexity of a view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovations
  • breakthroughs
  • unprecedented
  • dynamic
  • technological advancements
  • legislation
  • diplomacy
  • socioeconomic policies
  • geopolitical
  • benchmark
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