Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

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It is sometimes argued that they would rather land a job than go to the academy.

While

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this

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could be true to a certain extent, I believe that continuing to invest our knowledge in the educational institution is the most effective way to a delightful career. On the one hand, finding a job after high

school

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is attractive for numerous reasons. The first reason is many young people would rather live independently from their families and prefer to have their

source

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own source

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of income.

Secondly

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, they believe that learning skills

while

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working is better than focusing on studying on the books.

For example

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, one of my friend's mother prefers her to help them in developing their family business after

school

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Nevertheless

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, I support the idea that studying is the easiest way to lead you to a bright future and a better life. First of all, we will have a bigger opportunity to get a better occupation than the people who do not come to the

university

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For example

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, a

school

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graduate can only work as a waiter in a food store or a mechanic in a workshop.

However

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, with a

university

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graduate, their chances to become a teacher or doctor are always larger.

Secondly

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, we can broaden our minds by moving somewhere new, meeting new people from around the world, and experiencing something new which we have not tried yet.

Lastly

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, the

university

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is not only about studying but

also

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a small society where we are able to live and work with others.

To sum up

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while

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it is apparent that there are some advantages of having a job straight after

school

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, it is undeniable that studying at

university

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or college is the best route to success in a career.

Submitted by Meganvandao on Sat Mar 02 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your task response score, ensure that your opinion is introduced in the beginning and is clearly reinforced throughout your essay. While you provided your opinion, integrating it consistently with examples and further argumentation could make your stance stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

In enhancing coherence and cohesion, strive for more varied and complex sentence structures and use a wider range of linking words to create smoother transitions between ideas. Although your essay is well-structured, incorporating these elements will elevate your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most peoples lives.others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilites . Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.