IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some people claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, there is no denying the fact that many
people
Use synonyms
 around the world prefer to cook and eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 rather than traditional
food
Use synonyms
. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 takes less
time
Use synonyms
, and they can request it from apps at any
time
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are satisfied with
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and consider it the best approach,
while
Linking Words
 others strongly oppose it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view, and I will express my personal opinion. On one hand, the disappearance of traditional meals may contribute to a decline in knowledge of civilisations and a loss of social identity.
Also
Linking Words
, traditional
food
Use synonyms
 is more valuable, contains complete and satiating nutrients, unlike fast
food
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, these meals are cooked for a long
time
Use synonyms
, but you will not get hungry quickly after eating them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to buy fast
food
Use synonyms
 from trucks or restaurants for many reasons, like adult employees ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to cook after spending the whole day at work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these days, many
families
Use synonyms
 need both parents to help cover family needs, which results in buying fast
food
Use synonyms
 end of the day.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, increasing the number of
people
Use synonyms
 to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 leads to an increased number of diseases in societies,
such
Linking Words
 as DM or obesity. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 in the daily routine has negative effects on both
families
Use synonyms
 and societies. Must try to make a balance between cooking traditional
food
Use synonyms
 every period and eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 on busy days.
Also
Linking Words
, making a schedule between
families
Use synonyms
 to cook traditional dishes and spreading among other
families
Use synonyms
 to encourage their ability in traditional cooking and raise knowledge about other international dishes.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

development
Make one main idea per paragraph and give clear examples to support it.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear signs so the writing flow better.
lexical
Use plain, exact words. Avoid long or hard phrases.
grammar
Check grammar and keep shorter sentences to boost clarity.
stance
You show both sides and give your own view.
structure
You end with a plan to mix fast food with home cooking.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional
  • food
  • fast
  • family
  • home
  • meal
  • time
  • health
  • eat
  • diet
  • culture
  • local
  • shop
  • business
  • cost
  • price
  • quick
  • choice
  • balance
  • education
  • government
  • industry
  • brand
  • global
  • identity
  • skill
  • habit
  • preserve
  • nutrition
  • advertising
What to do next:
Look at other essays: