IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Although more and more people use public transport, some city streets are still overcrowded with traffic. How can this problem be solved? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #transport #city #streets #traffic #support
In
todaty
Correct your spelling
today
today's
 trend
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the globe public
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 has a various type of ways to travel.
However
, some
city
 roads are still
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
very crowded with
traffic
 and
road blocks
Correct your spelling
roadblocks
show examples
.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will be
disscusing
Correct your spelling
discussing
 the possible ways to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
this
 problem
while
 giving methods to illustrate before it comes to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
. It is not a debate that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
nowwadays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 packed with towns and cities
due to
 work and education needs.
However
, The majority of
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
 is
visting
Correct your spelling
visiting
 to cities in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 life
due to
full-fill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
show examples
 these needs in the town.Some
people
 are paying a visit
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to the
city
due to
 their village does not have
some
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 like schools,
univercities
Correct your spelling
universities
 and other work companies.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 as a
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
 the majority of
people
 will have to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
due to
 any reason
while
 they
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 the
city
 is going to
be crowed
Change to the active voice
crow
have crowed
show examples
 and with
traffic
-jam.
Moreover
,Most of social
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 public
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 rather than driving their own vehicle to the
city
due to
traffic
 and other
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
 places just because they assume it is way more convenient and
reliabe
Correct your spelling
reliable
.
However
, even though humans
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 and try to reduce
this
traffic
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the cities are overcrowded
due to
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
show examples
 number of
city
visiters
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
. In
regurding
Correct your spelling
regarding
this
 matter there are a number of solutions to reduce crowed in
public
Add an article
a public
the public
show examples
 area.As an
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the
govenmant
Correct your spelling
government
 should have a system of
road blocks
Correct your spelling
roadblocks
show examples
,and
traffic
Correct article usage
a traffic
show examples
 system.The
govenmant
Correct your spelling
government
also
 can extend
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
city
 complex
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
 range of places rather than they packed
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 all in one
ground
.It is not only
govenmants
Correct your spelling
governments
 way of changing
these situation
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
.
Accrodingly
Correct your spelling
According
Accordingly
 to
this
traffic
 and over crowed matter The
compaines
Correct your spelling
companies
 and other
city
buldling
Correct your spelling
building
 holders should have a concern too.To
illustate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 If the companies and other
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 are not packed in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 and if
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
city
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 have a range of
ground
 distributed to the villages as well. Mainly, as a solution for
this
 over crowed
Correct your spelling
scenario
senario
Add a comma
senario,
show examples
 the
govent
Correct your spelling
movement
 can have some sort of
resticed
Correct your spelling
restricted
 rules
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the new companies and new
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 who trying to bring their
bussnes
Correct your spelling
business
 to the
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
 area.The
govenmant
Correct your spelling
government
also
 be able to manage and
re-disgine
Correct your spelling
re-imagine
 the
city
. As another
solution
Add a comma
solution,
show examples
 the
govenmant
 and
city
 disigners can
also
alocate
Correct your spelling
allocate
locate
traffic
free
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
envirenmant
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
tho
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
people
 by adding bridges
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
traffic
 areas and
traffic
lights
Fix the agreement mistake
light
show examples
 systems.
Over crowded
Correct your spelling
Overcrowded
show examples
 locations may have to extend the
ground
,
add
Correct word choice
and add
show examples
 new locations
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 to rest,
hang
Correct word choice
and hang
show examples
 out.
Furthermore
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 more wide
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
show examples
 for towns and multitasking
buldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and
loctions
Correct your spelling
locations
people
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
be
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
smooth
lifesyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
.
Submitted by nipunhasmitha97 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay seems to lack a clear introduction and conclusion which are crucial for setting up the context and summarizing the main points at the end. You should clearly state the issue at hand and how you intend to address it in your opening paragraph. Moreover, a conclusion that restates your main points and your perspective on the topic would strengthen your essay's structure.
logical structure
The essay has a few logical issues and gaps in its progression of ideas. It's important to create a logical flow, ensuring that each point builds on the last and is relevant to the overall topic. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
supported main points
Your main points would benefit from being backed by more focused and detailed examples. Instead of general statements or hypothetical scenarios, provide concrete examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
complete response
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt. When discussing solutions to the problem, be explicit in how your suggestions will effectively solve the issue of overcrowded streets despite public transport use. Measure your response against the requirements of the task to ensure completeness.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to ensure comprehensive answers to the question. It's not enough to simply list potential solutions; you need to explain how and why they would work, giving the reader a clear understanding of your reasoning. Aim for clarity and depth in your writing.
relevant specific examples
While you touch upon relevant examples, they need to be more specific and tied directly to your argument. Rather than speaking in general terms about government systems or building distribution, give specific examples of cities that have implemented successful measures to reduce traffic and how they have done so.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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