Being a celebrity can bring benefits and problems at the same time . To what extent do you agree on this statement ?

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A famous
person
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or
celebrity
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
popular through media
as well as
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due to
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people
celebrity
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brings benefits
along with
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problems .
To begin
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with , there are many benefits of being a
celebrity
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.
Firstly
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,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
celebrity
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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its own image or dignity .
Every one
Replace the word
Everyone
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know
Change the verb form
knows
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to famous
person
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.
Secondly
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, every
person
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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and respect to the famous
person
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.
For example
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, Amir Khan is
famous
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a famous
show examples
personality . Most of the people give respect and like his acting , work or physique .
Thirdly
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, famous
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have more money , comfort devices and more property .
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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they can bring what they want .
On the other hand
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, there are more problems for
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celebrity
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrities
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. First of all ,
famous
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a famous
the famous
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person
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cannot go anywhere lonely and cannot enjoy freedom with family .
Moreover
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,
famous
Add an article
a famous
the famous
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person
Use synonyms
does not have enough time for their family and
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
their hobbies .
Furthermore
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, famous
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd .
In addition
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to
this
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,
due to
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popularity media always spread news regarding famous
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Moreover
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, media create issues regarding personal or
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
problems . In conclusion , being a famous film star or
sports
Correct your spelling
sportsman
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man
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more benefits but , we cannot
denied
Change the verb form
be denied
deny
show examples
about negative effects .

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure you have a clear structure, with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Avoid mixing benefits and problems in the same paragraph, instead, devote separate paragraphs to discuss each thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Rather than stating observations, illustrate with concrete scenarios or statistics where possible.
Task Achievement
Ensure you respond to all parts of the task. In this case, rather than simply listing benefits and drawbacks, discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, which involves analysis and personal reflection.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your essay by including a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively and demonstrate language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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