Write about the following topic: Nowadays, in many families both parents need to have jobs. What are some of the problems associated with both parents working, and what are some of the possible solutions? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
In
this
competitive world, many parents
are forced to go out to work
. This
brings many conflicting opinions and problems however
there are many different solutions and here are a few of my recommendations about this
.
On one
hand,Correct article usage
the one
Parents
going out to work
together will lead to many problems. The first thing that needs to be mentioned is the lack of love from children
, parents
spend too much time at work
, even on overtime days, they will have to stay from morning to night, the question is are their children
receiving enough love and care?. Morever
, Many Correct your spelling
Moreover
parents
fail to balance family and work
, which greatly affects their children
.his
has a direct impact on Correct pronoun usage
This
children
’s life.Furthermore
, Children
need to receive sincere education and advice from their parents
, in this
case
Add a comma
case,
parents
cannot meet their children
's needs.
However
, I can be sure that parents
will meet their children
's needs, if both the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
work
. They can send their children
to a good quality kindergarten environment, or they can send their children
to their grandparents to raise them well. Furthermore
, when parents
finish work
, they should also
sit down and talk with each other. children
, ask them about school, friends
, combined with educating your Correct word choice
and friends
children
at home. This
will help children
feel cared for and receive full love from their parents
. my family is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
applies
this
solution , therefore
i
never feel lonely when Change the capitalization
I
i
stay at home .
in conclusion, both Change the capitalization
I
parents
have no option but doing
Change the verb form
to do
job
in order to bring prosperity Correct article usage
a job
for
their Change preposition
to
children
.All parents
need to do is care and be an emotional support for their children
.Submitted by ASDFGHJKLESSON on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction that paraphrases the question, a body with clearly separated paragraphs for each main idea, and a distinct conclusion that summarizes your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support each main point with clear reasons and or examples. Avoid general statements by providing specific details or experiences.
Task Achievement
Be consistent with your perspective throughout the essay to avoid confusion. If you are discussing problems, maintain that focus before transitioning to solutions.
General
Avoid grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity. Simple, well-constructed sentences are better than complex ones with errors.
General
Increase the variety of your sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the readability and sophistication of your response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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