Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school

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In the current era, the debate over whether a diploma offers more advantages compared to getting a business. Some argue that starting a successful
career
depends on studying bachelor's or college,
while
others contend that securing employment is the best option after graduating from school. In my opinion, by enrolling in higher education, students can find enrollment. Convincing arguments can be made that getting a job provides experience and more effective strategies. To start with,
while
youngsters are working in their workplace, they might be able to improve their practical ability
as well as
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
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interpersonal experience.
For instance
,
although
the world is undergoing rapid change
as a result
it leads to
increasingly
Correct article usage
an increasingly
show examples
competitive job sphere, every specific industry and company`s employers do not want to recruit a volunteer who has a lack of practice.
Hence
improving skills that
perceiving
Wrong verb form
perceive
show examples
the atmosphere of real working in their adulthoods can help them prosper in their fields. Despite the positives of getting an occupation mentioned above, I would acknowledge that enrolling educational institution has numerous benefits. One of the desirable aspects of studying is enhancing cognitive skills
such
as critical thinking, and
broader
Correct article usage
a broader
show examples
understanding of the world may increase good quality of a
career
.
Additionally
, high global perspectives which enhance long-term
career
prospects can provide adults with a financial budget for their entire lives.
For example
,
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
or
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and these categories of jobs always require a specialist who has sufficient ability for work.
To conclude
,
while
getting a job has its positives, particularly gaining experience, the predominant advantage of studying at university and college is enhancing long-term
career
success.
Submitted by muhammadrizoabduxalimov017 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with a logical structure, avoiding abrupt transitions. Add a clear introduction with a thesis statement and a conclusive ending that summarizes the key points.
task achievement
Expand on both views with specific examples and a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion clearly. This shows a complete response to the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
To boost coherence, use a range of cohesive devices effectively. This includes conjunctions, referencing words, and substitution to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, develop your ideas fully with more focused and elaborated examples. Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed equally.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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