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Band 5.5

it is better to buy expensive then cheaper clothes. do you agree or disagree.

#clothes
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There are various cloth designs produced by different brand industries in the market, especially for women’s clothing nowadays. Numerous people find that a good price for premium-quality clothes is more worthy of investment than a budgeted one.
On the other hand
, high-quality garments are more long-lasting. 
To begin
 with, spending a bit more on the superior pieces may feel a bit expensive at first. The reason is that fabric and materials are carefully chosen by the tailors, which has proven that the buyers’ skin reacts less
allergic
Change preposition
to allergic
show examples
 reactions. It is good for a personal image
as well as
 being able to
last
 for a long
time
, as the clothes are durable for at least five years.
On the other hand
, washing the cheaper alternative multiple times results in out-of-shape and colour fatting,
thus
 requiring frequent replacement. 
Moreover
, people nowadays start to practice minimalism, which means living a simple lifestyle with minimal things and removing unnecessary ones from life. Most people are unknowingly spending their
time
 choosing outfits and colours every day. By buying solid-colour clothes,
for example
, black or dark blue, they may spend less
time
 pairing the outfit with their existing pieces from the wardrobe.
Besides
, buying large quantities of low-quality garments may result in demand for place in wardrobes.  In conclusion, investing in better-quality and more expensive clothing can align with the principles of sustainability and durability. It benefits long-term economics
as well as
 saves
time
 in choosing outfits and space in the cabinet.
Submitted by ruthnangying on

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Task Achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly presents opinion in response to the prompt.
Task Achievement
Present clear main arguments in separate paragraphs to enhance the essay structure.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support claims and enhance persuasiveness of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Link your ideas with a wider range of cohesive devices to strengthen the connectivity between sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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