In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #measures #counter #situation

Nowadays, It can be seen that some societies all around the world, have faced cultural erosion. I assume that some concepts namely the global village and new global trends contribute to

this

phenomenon and both governments and individuals have to preserve their culture by supporting it in some ways.

To begin

with, vanishing heritage has happened in some nations

due to

their tendency to look modern. In some countries, mostly developing ones,

people

do their best in order to become more similar to those who are developed.

For example

, some

people

in Asian countries who are mostly Muslim, namely

Iranian

Replace the word

Iranians

show examples

, celebrate Christmas just in the interest of having something in common with Europeans.

Additionally

, they try to ignore their traditions as they consider them demolished and out of date.

As a result

, some societies are at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

risk of cultural erosion.

Moreover

, some part of

this

issue is associated with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

educational programmes, as talking about costumes and traditions is not a crucial part of it. So, these are not transferred to the next generations. To

addressing

Change the form of the verb

address

show examples

the problem of cultural deterioration, folks have to take

actions

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

in concert with governments. Governments must pay more attention to the importance of their culture and try to support preservation programmes financially.

For instance

, they have to fund some organisations to hold cultural exhibitions in order to remind

people

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

background.

Also

, they have to revise educational concepts in terms of involving more texts about these concepts.

On the other hand

people

should have online platforms with the aim of exhibiting their culture to the world since it is a great way that not only

does it

Verb problem

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show examples

stop cultural erosion alive, but

also

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spreads

Wrong verb form

spread

show examples

it all around the world. In conclusion, I admit that some traditions and customs have been put

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

danger of extinction

as a result

of globalisation, it could be mitigated by the help of authorities and individuals.

Submitted by n97.mortazian on Sat Feb 03 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed. Focus on explicating problems caused by disappearing festivals and specific, concrete measures to counteract the situation. Bring in more detailed examples and solutions that are directly related to the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing a clearer logical structure. Organize your essay into well-defined paragraphs, each containing one main idea and a clear topic sentence. Cohesion can be improved by using a range of linking words and ensuring that ideas flow sequentially from one to the next.

coherence cohesion

Further develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Rather than broad statements, provide tangible illustrations of the problems and measures discussed to enhance reader understanding and interest.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

traditional festivals
heritage
cultural identity
folklore
cultural tourism
intergenerational
homogenization
commercialization
intangible cultural heritage
community engagement
awareness
revitalize
cultural diversity
educational programs
governmental support
logistical support

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In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people believe that lecture halls have been replaced by online learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else?

Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Discuss both side of view and give your opinion.

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?